Oh Netty, I am so sorry to hear the truly sad news of your lovely Neil.

I wish there was something, anything, I could say that would help you to get through this awful time but please know that I, and I am sure others here, are thinking of you and sending you huge hugs. Try not to look too far ahead at the moment, just take each hour, each day as it comes and take as much comfort as you can from those around you. The rest of the world can wait for now. Take care of yourself and, as I say, little steps... Love Sue xx

Oh Netty,

I am so sorry to read your latest post. As Susu says , please know that lots of us will will thinking of you and will be here to offer help and support for you. I now know why I hadnt seen you posting for a while. I was going to send a post asking about you today.

Sending hugs and best wishes, your forum buddy, Brian.

Hi Inula,

Like many on this forum, we are so sad to hear that your husband has passed away. We are always here for you anytime you need to talk and I hope this forum will bring you a little bit of comfort in this most difficult time.

Our most sincere condolences to you and your family.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Netty

You will know that I understand the pain which follows the loss of a dear husband. Neil was taken far too quickly that you really had no time to adjust to his illness and now you have the grieving process to take you forward.  I know that we have 'chatted' off forum and I am happy for that to continue should you feel it helps in even a very small way.  I still cope on the day to day basis but being a little further along my own journey I am picking up the threads of the 'new' normal and still find much support and comfort both from my forum buddies and also my family and friends. 

It saddens me that whilst grieving you  have added financial worries and wish I could offer words of wisdom. As you know I too have the bereavement benefit for the year and have just  been awarded a small pension from my hubby's 'first' employer (who he was with the longest).  I only work just over 15hrs a week(and at times still find myself stressed so do not feel able to increase this just now) and was informed by the DWP that when the current benefit ends, if it was required, I could apply for income support to take my income to ' acceptable levels' to live on. I will not really know how I stand until hubby's Estate is settled but will take financial guidance (probably through the citizen's Advice Bureau which is, of course free) and maybe they could be of assistance to you, if only to talk you through the possibilities.

Take strength from those close to you, come and chat if it helps - there are many good listeners on the forum and I am not sure how I would have coped without them.  Sending hugs.  Jules x

Oh Netty.....I can't imagine how difficult this is for you and I am so glad that you have your lovely daughter and daughter-in-law to support you - but as you say when the alone-times hit you, it must be so hard and they are grieving too.  Please keep in touch any time you need by email - as Jules says, we are all at different stages but can support each other in some way - just putting your feelings down helps. I also hope that others here on the site who have gone through a similar loss will share with you and offer help, as you have done to others.  All my love netty - always here for you along with your other virtual friends x

Thanks for your kind replies Sue and Lucia - baby steps... yes. I never realised how fragile even a strong person could become.  

Brian I just haven't had the heart to come here again until today. Life is just so rubbish sometimes but I'm trying hard to pick myself up.  

Jules. I value your friendship  and offline contact. Long may it continue.  :)

Not only have I been coping with my own troubles I've been supporting 2 other buddies who's loved ones are in the same boat as Neil... battling the same cancer. One passed a few days ago... the other still battles on. Long may it continue. Just every now and again  I feel so desolate but I promised Neil that I would be ok and I do intend to keep that promise

Much love to all

Netty

X

Hi Netty

Hope you managed some sleep and you are stronger than you realise. Being there for others when you are grieving yourself shows your depth of feelings.  I know Neil would  be proud of you and those promises we make to them (and ourselves) somehow keep us going. I will be in touch soon. In my thoughts  and sending hugs.Jules x

dear justme2  sorry about your dad i lost my mum to ovarian cancer last december she only lasted three weeks in hospital since leaving our house to go there, we thought it was a stomach virus. but when she had the scan it turned out she had late stage four ovarian cancer, its a cancer that stays silent in its early stages and you do not carry any symptoms untill the dam cancer has advanced where its too late, mum did not get any treatment because the cancer had spread too far and it was hard to watchv her deteriote over the three weeks until she passed on the 27 december,mum had already been in remission from early stage breast cancer since 2011, was lucky then it had not spread, but at the end of the day the cancer always wins it way back, nearly ten months on i still find it hard and i do not know how long its going to take to get  over her, it seems nothing can be  worse losing parents, i lost my dad also to a heart attack when i was just nineteen he was only 47, mum was 74, it feels weird parentless but have to rely on three sisters now for support, hope you get the support you need to over come your loss,take care oggi

You've really gone through so much oggi, I'm so sorry x