Hi Kessygirl

When I lost my Dad (8 years ago now) my parents had  been married for 56 years and of course I worried (am an only child and Mum lived alone in rented accommodation) as to how she would cope.  She was 82 at the time and not close to anyone (they were very much a couple who kept to themselves).  However she was very 'together', took control of everything and in due time, having got through all the arrangements, began to  live her life as a 'singleton'.  For peace of mind we had an Age Concern (now Age UK)  telephone link (button worn on necklace) so if she had a fall (she could call for help if she could not reach the phone and I was named as a contact along with a neighbour who had key access.  It worked well.  She was indpendent for a good three years and even went on holidays (by coach) alone and actually took as all by surprise as she got used to her new situation. She often told me she had got through the war and Dad would not be happy if he thought she was moping so she would manage.   People cope with grief in many ways and hers was to try and make the best of it. She is now 89 and lives in a residential home due to physical mobility problems and she has a bipolar condition.

Take your time to adjust (I am a widow of just over 5 months) but you will learn to move forward in time as a family and I am sure your Mum will let you know how and when you can help as she knows how much  you love her and also miss your Dad. You will all support each other as I am doing with my two children.  Take care  Jules x

Hi Kessygirl

When I lost my Dad (8 years ago now) my parents had  been married for 56 years and of course I worried (am an only child and Mum lived alone in rented accommodation) as to how she would cope.  She was 82 at the time and not close to anyone (they were very much a couple who kept to themselves).  However she was very 'together', took control of everything and in due time, having got through all the arrangements, began to  live her life as a 'singleton'.  For peace of mind we had an Age Concern (now Age UK)  telephone link (button worn on necklace) so if she had a fall (she could call for help if she could not reach the phone and I was named as a contact along with a neighbour who had key access.  It worked well.  She was indpendent for a good three years and even went on holidays (by coach) alone and actually took as all by surprise as she got used to her new situation. She often told me she had got through the war and Dad would not be happy if he thought she was moping so she would manage.   People cope with grief in many ways and hers was to try and make the best of it. She is now 89 and lives in a residential home due to physical mobility problems and she has a bipolar condition.

Take your time to adjust (I am a widow of just over 5 months) but you will learn to move forward in time as a family and I am sure your Mum will let you know how and when you can help as she knows how much  you love her and also miss your Dad. You will all support each other as I am doing with my two children.  Take care  Jules x