Hi Kessygirl, I'm so sorry you lost your Dad to this terrible disease. I think right now, the reality of your Dad being gone is setting in which is the usual way things go after a death. During the funeral and for awhile after, relatives, friends, etc. are milling around and being supportive, which is great, but what many people forget is family members still need emotional support after everything is over. This is when the full impact of your Dad's death is starting to sink in and the shock of his death, (yes, I know you knew he was dying) is now your new "normal". Life, as you and your Mom once knew is no more. This is when you have to start adjusting to the realty of living without your Dad and it is very different than it was. It is hard, but it is necessary and part of the process of grieving. Just know that it won't be this hard forever and eventually, you and your Mom will come to terms with your lives without your Dad. Give yourselves the time you need to grieve and mourn his loss as you comfort one another. Don't hesitate to ask family and friends to help when needed. You will get through this.

Come on to the forum whenever you want to cry, rant, and offload. There's usually someone to respond eventually and you will get support here. Perhaps not as good as in person, but certainly very genuine virtual support.

Take care and sending you hugs.

Lorraine 

Thanks Lorraine, I'm mostly worried about my mum as it's her life that's been turned upside down. Shes a very strong lady and is keeping herself busy with loads of things. But I know that when the winter comes and she can't stay in the garden pottering around most of the evening, it'll really hit her hard. Im going to suggest to her that she joins the forum and I'll come off of it so she can post freely and without me reading it! There are lots of people who I think can relate to what she's going through. She's not very savvy with these things but it's so easy she'll get to grips with it! Thanks again x

Hi Kessygirl

When I lost my Dad (8 years ago now) my parents had  been married for 56 years and of course I worried (am an only child and Mum lived alone in rented accommodation) as to how she would cope.  She was 82 at the time and not close to anyone (they were very much a couple who kept to themselves).  However she was very 'together', took control of everything and in due time, having got through all the arrangements, began to  live her life as a 'singleton'.  For peace of mind we had an Age Concern (now Age UK)  telephone link (button worn on necklace) so if she had a fall (she could call for help if she could not reach the phone and I was named as a contact along with a neighbour who had key access.  It worked well.  She was indpendent for a good three years and even went on holidays (by coach) alone and actually took as all by surprise as she got used to her new situation. She often told me she had got through the war and Dad would not be happy if he thought she was moping so she would manage.   People cope with grief in many ways and hers was to try and make the best of it. She is now 89 and lives in a residential home due to physical mobility problems and she has a bipolar condition.

Take your time to adjust (I am a widow of just over 5 months) but you will learn to move forward in time as a family and I am sure your Mum will let you know how and when you can help as she knows how much  you love her and also miss your Dad. You will all support each other as I am doing with my two children.  Take care  Jules x