Hi Paul,

I've been through similar, When my mum past away in 2009 I was in limbo so to speak. I kept on like normal and I didn't want to stop really because when you stop you start thinking and thinking and thinking some more. 

It will take time to come to terms with that happened, we all process things in different ways, different time scales and there is no right or wrong way.

There's no need to feel guilty about socialising with brothers and sisters, it's a double edge sword really of shall we ask or shall we not, how would he feel, reaction and so on. When you do go out and you feel guilty of doing so think to yourself 'I'm taking steps to feeling not guilty' which I think is what you want from what you have written.

I found that when I went to bed and I was trying to go to sleep it was difficult, I coped by basically letting it all out, I would cry I would put my headphones in and blast my music in an attempt to drown the thoughts out but in the end they will be there until we give our mind time to process what's happened.

You could write your thought's in a diary, call a friend (they really wouldn't mind because they're your friend and you would do the same for them) or talk to your family. 

I used to think like you that I was being too much for family, friends or others around me but people really don't mind.

Take Care x

Hi there,

Thank you for your kind words, it is still tough even now, but i have had lots of advice from this forum, the Bereavment meetings i go to, and especially Kathy who has helped me so much, it is so nice to have people such as yourself take time out to help people like me, i'm the chap who is going to take a bit longer than most.

It still dosen't feel right, I know I will get there, because I have come along way already, I think I must learn to cope with my loss first then progress from there, It is hard to talk to family, it's not that i don't want to, I just feel they don't understand, they do change the subject quite often, so I switch off after that. When we go out together, there is always their other half there, It might sound selfish but that gets to me a little.

This is where i am getting the most help, form the people who have experienced the heartache, and suffered the loss, which no one can ever forsee, or even prepare for.

I do write in my diary every day, which i have only just started, it is helping I think, dont have many friends as Dawn and i had each other, we did go out alot but just enjoyed each other's company, Having spent twenty two years in the Royal Navy we where seperated for long periods at a time, so we where trying to catch up i surpose.

I have my liitle diamond, she is Sheba, a Siberian Husky cross, she is so good for me at this moment, makes me laugh and wants lots of cuddles, sometimes i dont think i know how luck i am.

thank you for your concern

Kind regards Paul

Hi Kathy,

Sorry it seems to be getting a lttle chilly in Adelaide, but believe it or not its been a cracking day here, Temperatures went up to 17 deg C today, so Sheba and I made the most of it, the roads would have been a bit busy as its bank holiday Monday, so we walked along the canal towpath, for about 6 or 7 miles, we left at 9.30am and got back at 11.30, poor shaba was shattered and so was I, but the sun shone and it brought out all the families on their bikes and lots of walkers most with dogs, i've never said good morning to so many poeple before it was really nice. (missed Dawn though) as alot where couples. So we got home had a cuppa then I cleaned the guttering, facia's,  window and doors, another cuppa the it was the cars turn to be washed, drank enough tea so I had a coffee this time, then out with Sheba again only for 3/4 hour this time.

Yesterday, popped in to see Dawns sister as it was her Huddies birthday today, took a card for him. Aslo took Sheba with me as she had not seen her and we chattered about Little Henry and Sheba's lunge, she was saying because she is a rescue dog, you never know what they have been through, so not to chastise her, while i was there her hubbies brother popped in also delivering a card, he went up to offer his hand for Sheba to smell and the poor little girl wet herself, So Dawns sister Val said there was the proof of her being mistreated. Its not nice to see, so she must still be very scared, so will have a chat with our dog trainer and see what advise she has to offer.

I did have a chat with Mark about Sheba's lunge, just to say sorry really when he said that apparently Henry had slipped off the chair and startled Sheba, so know it dos'nt sound so bad, but as you pointed out it will have to be a rule that shaba is never left alone with the little ones, the thing is i have left them alone when i nip to the loo, or get them a drink or biscuit, ect, so will havr to be more careful.

Must have been a scary moment when you noticed the car following you, but you did the right thing, you wer'nt being parenoid you where being very sensible, well done you. 

Well its time to get cleaned up and watch a bit of TV, early night as i have Treetops bus driving tomorrow, also have to arrange a visit for ssafa, another poor chap wants a home of his own instead of living with his son, probably just wants his independence.

Take care of yourself Kathy, 

Kind regards Paul x  

Hi Paul,
Wow what a busy morning you had, but sounds great.  Isn't it wonderful how the better weather brings people outside and seems to make them more friendly.
No gardening done today due to showers but at least two of my rain water tanks are full again .  Noticed one of my spring bulbs is up, mmm 5 months till spring but guess no one has told it.  The seasons do seem all out of whack these days.
Poor Sheba, if she has been treated poorly in the past no wonder she can be nervy.  She is lucky to have a good home now.  When the littlies are with me I take dog to loo with me or put him outside for 5 mins to avoid leaving alone with them.  
Had the pest control man out today for annual inspection and got the all clear -no termite activity which was good news.  White ants can do a lot of damage out here to timber.
I had a mate around today and Dice was so excited to see her, he was doing laps of the house.  She has been away on holidays for a fortnight and swears never again to take grandkids with her (14 and 9), will get that from her in writing......  I made home made pizzas for lunch and ended up taking some to my neighbour afterwards to take in for her lunch tomorrow.
It's after 4 am now so I really should head off to bed, will be up again in less than 4 hours, maybe I can have a nanno nap in the afternoon.   
Will sign off for now,
Kathy x

Hi Kathy,

The sun always puts a smile on people's faces and puts everyone in a good mood, well almost every one (you know what these Brits are like) mind you if it stays sunny for a whole week there will be someone moaning it's too hot.

Driving the bus yesterday for Treetops, but turned into a glum day as two of our pick ups cancelled, it's always a worry when they cancel, due to the confidentiallity, we are not told why they cancelled, so we do worry about them, hopefully we shall be picking them up next week.

Today has been another fine day reaching 18 deg have been to the office and finished all the banking conformation and all the figures match up (saves me a good half an hour) then popped over to Dawns sisters niece to drop her birthday card off, then home and out with Sheba, she doesn't like the hot weather, poor girl is panting like hell, must take her water bottle in future. Back at home Sheba finds a nice cool spot while I get about a third of the garden weeded and tidied up, then more coffee. Popped in to see Ron and Sandra, good friends of Dawn and I, we used to go out for a meal together quite often, now it's just birthdays. Ron is nearly 80, they both creek when getting out of their chairs, but a down to earth couple, Sandra says what she means and means what she says, doesn't hole back when she want to say something, but we know where we stand with her, she's OK.

So glad you got the all clear with those naughty pests, it's coming to that time now where our pest will come out in abundance, those flying ants seem to get worse as each year passes.

Home made pizzas now that sounds like a challenge for me, must get it up on the Internet , got any tips for me, like where do I start.

Was out with brothers and sisters last night, as Chris (brother from London) popped up for a couple of days, we had a drink in one of my dad's favourite pups, well in a couple actually, it was a nice night chatting about mum and dad most of the night, Carol and Chris have amazing memories, I can't remember half of what they where saying, told them I must start taping all those memories and get them down on paper(tablet).

Not been back to long being out with Sheba so now she is relaxing I think it's time for me to get a good old soak.

Look after yourself Kathy and thanks for our chats

Kind regards Paul x x

Hi Paul,
So good to hear you are getting out and about.
Poor Sheba feeling the heat already. 
Good to see you have mates who are down to earth, the only way to be.  Being direct has its positives for sure and great to hear you had some family chats.
Went out to source some disability aids for the outlaws as they will need to give back the shower chair, bed pole and grabber mother in law has had since coming out of hospital.  So got prices etc for them.  Girl in the shop will give them 10% off as I am a member ( we bought a few products as couldn't wait for them to be supplied under govt services).  I think it is worth them checking out if M I L is entitled to anything as is an ex service woman.  Will make an apple crumble and take it into girl in the shop to take home to family.  She always offers me a cuppa when I go in.   It's nice to be known in a small community.  Really good vibe in this area.
Home made pizzas basically a pita bread or Lebanese bread base
Brush with olive oil using a pastry brush to edges
Spread tomato paste to edges (avoids burnt edges)
Sprinkle oregano, crushed between fingertips
Cover with choice of toppings I use pepperoni, red and green capsicum, onions, mushrooms - basically whatever you fancy, cover with pizza cheese, pepper and bobs your uncle.
Stick in oven 180 gas for 20 mins and enjoy.
If you can be bothered you can make scone dough as base but add cold potatoes mashed into it .  Not cold mashed potatoes though.
I have my tea on at the moment... Not too good eating so late but better than not eating.  I like to bend the rules to suit. I am in charge of my own destiny, so I like to think.
Will sign off now and have tea.
Look after yourself and Sheba,
Kathy x
 

Hi there Kathy, 

Thank you for the Pizza tips, little George loves pizza's so I think George and I will have a go next Thursday when I pick him up from school. Had him all day yesterday and he ate really well, we where down the park i the morning, he was on the rides as I was playing with Sheba, right next to each other so all was safe, then back for lunch (chicken curry) then jumped on a bus into Nottingham, he walks really well, (so long as he has his sausage roll followed by an ice cream) but he's no trouble. Mark came to pick him up about 5:00pm then I don't know why but it all went down hill. Just fed up with the world, how is it I have a good day and within a hour or so feel really low. I got the bottle out to drowned my sorrows, feel a bit numb this morning, still off to the park with Sheba, she will make me laugh some how.

 It's a really nice community in Australia, when we were in Perth everyone spoke to us, and where so nice, here in the UK no one speaks much Dawns sister and niece (Josie - Julie noticed that when they stayed with us, I do fine poeple speak to more when I'm with Sheba though.

 When I visit the city hospital for our chats a couple of women there don't eat much, they just pick at things all day, where I'm quite fortunate I that area, I do eat well I think. Mind you Dawn didn't get in from work till six-ish so I always had a cooked meal on the table for her so maybe that's why I cook a lot.!!!!!!!

You are such a kind and thoughtful person, thinking of everyone, making sure they have everything they need, even down to making an apple crumble for the lady in the shop such a nice thing to do.

OK must get out with Sheba, she is so patient waiting for me, I'm so lucky, then it's leaking my pack up and off to the office

Take Great care of yourself

Paul x

Hi Paul,
Not sure why you feel low after having a good day, think with me is after having such fun with the grandkids, being so surrounded by love and affection to go back to me and pets is a bit of a downer.
That's why after a few days spent with kids and grandkids I think about moving closer to them, then the brain kicks in not the heart, and I decide to stay put here.
Would love to put a pic of the kids wedding here but won't until personal messaging come back.
Next weekend I am off to babysit so am so excited.  Next door neighbour will look after my pets and I can return the favour for her in May when she heads off for a few days.  So happy I can do something for her besides pass buckets of manure over the fence.
Purchased some bubble making stuff yesterday for Kidlets, to take up and balloons, always fun to bop around the front room.  Will take some jigsaws and " doing" activities, plus Thomas the Tank gardening tool bag.
Had a couple of blokes around yesterday for some maintenance quotes which I should get next week.  At the back of my mind is "don't take me for a mug just because I am on my own".  I used to be quite naive believing in the best of everyone, but I have toughened up in the past 9 months and weigh up everything before making a decision. 
I am delighted you are eating well.  That is good news indeed.  
I have a head start on tomorrow's chores putting a wash out as it was getting dark. A mozzie managed to get me.... Little bleep.  Tomorrow due to be 25 woo hoo, more gardening shall be accomplished.
Two mornings ago I woke up with a cut on bridge of my nose courtesy of cats affection and claws.  This morning I woke with blood on pillowcase and looked in mirror with some trepidation to see no damage.  After shower I was still checking and found a couple of pinpricks in my right earlobe, obviously he pats me a bit too hard during the night, maybe wear a motorcycle helmet to bed tonight haha.
Monday am here sees the Moto GP from USA being televised, will be up and compus mentis for 4.30 am, yes I know I am quite mad.  Fingers crossed Valentino Rossi can do it again.  
Today I caught up with an ex colleague I hadn't seen since Aug 2014, that was good then this avo old girlfriend from 10 years ago came round, that also was good and we picked up from where we left off all those years ago.  We had many laughs and a few tears, but was most enjoyable over all.  She's the one who upset me unknowingly a few weeks ago by calling and asking after hubby.  That's life, let's move on.
Well Paul will sign off, hope I haven't bent your ear too much, at least no cat in your bed to lacerated you...  Let's see what damage mine can do tonight...
Look after yourself and your girl young Sheba, give her a pat from me
Kathy x
 

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Here is Little George chilling with Sheba After our day out, keep meaning to post it to you.

Brother popping round now so will reply later Sorry about this.

Take care, will reply soon.

Paul x

Hi Kathy,

Sorry about that, brother just texted me, he will be another 3/4 hour, obviously communication that end, but gives me time now to finish what I was about to start.

I've been to my City hospital meeting today and we chatted about what brings on the upset, a couple said they had had a good day without feeling guilty but, felt really low a few hours later. Something in our minds just triggers a feeling, and the rest we know, even though I have lost Dawn, two of the ladies have lost children and you can see the heartache in their eyes as they speak, so even though I'm really hurting, and feel no one is hurting like me there certainly is and a lot worse I should think.

Really happy you and your friend have made up, it's so nice you have such a forgiving nature, hope your friend realises that, bet she does. Your neighbour is very luck to have you next door, another lady who thinks the world of you.

Don't think those chaps will take advantage of you, sure you have a price in your mind what the costs would be, do you know anyone who have used them before, that's usually a good way to get a good job done there's nothing like getting a friend of a friend, if you know what I mean.

Don't believe it brothers on the drive, sorry will close now and finish off later

Take care Kathy 

Paul x

Hi there Kathy,

So sorry about the last couple of postings, Clive was popping over then his son rang him to see if he was up for a few beers down the pup, but because he was popping round to see me, think he was torn between us, but problem solved as I went along. His son is training to be a Royal Marine, and only has 10 weeks left of his 36 week training course, so he's nearly there.

As I was saying in my earlier posting it is really nice you put so much thought into what you are doing with the grandchildren to entertain and educate them, you are a lot like Dawn she was the one with the brains, and the forethought in planning well ahead.

You are really into your moron ilex arn't you, have you or your hubby had a bike, our track is donnington in Leicester, it's only half an hour from where we live in Nottingham, we used to be members, I had a round round the teak on my bike, my son Mark drove his car round and Mark and I where passengers in a sports car, wow it was amazing, the driver was taking corners faster than Mark was driving down the straight in his own car, we had some cracking days out there.

The weather here is still good, had rain over night, but got chance to do bits in the garden.

Off down the park now Sheba is ready to let off steam and get rid of that built up energy.

Take great care Kathy,

Paul x x

Hi Paul,
What gorgeous colouring Sheba has and what a cutie young George is.
The time will fly for your nephew to finish his training.  The forces have such great careers to offer the young ones.
I enjoy watching the bikes but have never been game enough to go on them.  I tried once as pillion passenger behind hubby but didn't enjoy it.  He used to ride competition in his youth but had an an accident when son was 4 and made the choice no more, as wanted to be here to see our son grow up.
He had a bad accident in his youth which resulted in being in a coma, reversible brain damage, broken arms, legs, jaw, had a trachiotomy, and was told he would never walk or work again. Bull ...., was his reply and he proved the experts wrong, recovered and went off to do his nurses training.
His parents were told the likelihood of him surviving the crash were small, but he was a fighter and we had him 40 years longer than expected.
I have alarm set for 4.30 am for the bikes and if I wake earlier will watch the Moto 3 and Moto 2 also.  After the race it won't be long to daybreak so I may as well stay awake and get the lad out.  I do watch the race when at Donnington and from memory the last few races there it has been wet conditions.
Today has been a bit of a lazy day, but that won't hurt me.  
Tomorrow I am meeting an old boss for lunch, from my first job in Australia in 1984, so our friendship goes back a long way.  She is 86 and still driving and keeps very active.  Unfortunately she is scared of dogs so won't come round to the house unless Dice is kept outside.  I am looking forward to the catch up.
I am thinking of taking up social badminton, played years ago, just need to see if I have a suitable pair of shorts that won't fall down and give me enough stretch room.  Wouldn't want to be arrested for indecent exposure. Haha.
Well Paul, will sign off and grab a couple of zzzzz ds before the bikes start, hope Sheba enjoyed her walk.
Kathy x
 

Hi Paul,
What gorgeous colouring Sheba has and what a cutie young George is.
The time will fly for your nephew to finish his training.  The forces have such great careers to offer the young ones.
I enjoy watching the bikes but have never been game enough to go on them.  I tried once as pillion passenger behind hubby but didn't enjoy it.  He used to ride competition in his youth but had an an accident when son was 4 and made the choice no more, as wanted to be here to see our son grow up.
He had a bad accident in his youth which resulted in being in a coma, reversible brain damage, broken arms, legs, jaw, had a trachiotomy, and was told he would never walk or work again. Bull ...., was his reply and he proved the experts wrong, recovered and went off to do his nurses training.
His parents were told the likelihood of him surviving the crash were small, but he was a fighter and we had him 40 years longer than expected.
I have alarm set for 4.30 am for the bikes and if I wake earlier will watch the Moto 3 and Moto 2 also.  After the race it won't be long to daybreak so I may as well stay awake and get the lad out.  I do watch the race when at Donnington and from memory the last few races there it has been wet conditions.
Today has been a bit of a lazy day, but that won't hurt me.  
Tomorrow I am meeting an old boss for lunch, from my first job in Australia in 1984, so our friendship goes back a long way.  She is 86 and still driving and keeps very active.  Unfortunately she is scared of dogs so won't come round to the house unless Dice is kept outside.  I am looking forward to the catch up.
I am thinking of taking up social badminton, played years ago, just need to see if I have a suitable pair of shorts that won't fall down and give me enough stretch room.  Wouldn't want to be arrested for indecent exposure. Haha.
Well Paul, will sign off and grab a couple of zzzzz ds before the bikes start, hope Sheba enjoyed her walk.
Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy,

Wow what an amazing man your hubby is, to go through all that, what a fighter, its poeple like your Hubby that it would have been an honour and a privilege just to shake his hand. So sorry, just dont know what to say.

Our bike riding was the comfy type, we had a big Glodwing 1500 cc really big seats, radio, sat nav, you name it, it had it, we had some good times on the bike even got over to the Isles of Man for the TT races even had the chance of riding round the course (took us 10 times longer than those Guys).

Had a steady day yeasterday, got the lawns mowed front and back (only small) then chilled and watch the Formula one racing.(only HIghlights), but Sheba and i had a good time out and about.

Got George his own little camera when we had our walkabout, as you can imagine he was taking photos of everything, but he enjoyed it, didnt do to bad a job either, so today got a USB drive donggle thingy and downloaded all his pictures to it so he now has his own photo album on a stick, if you know what i mean. Hes 4 tomorrow, (going on 14) so will have a chat first thing in the morning before they have their day out, then a week today we are off to Filey near Scarborough so looking forward to that and the break from everyday routine.

Its great how you keep in touch with all your friends and work mates, bet you both have lots to talk about, hope its a good day.

You dont half make me laugh Kathy with your sence of humour (badminton Shorts), but it is a good game and keeps you fit, but thoses shuttles dont half hurt when they catch you, had a few bruises myself, im sure they used to aim at me you know, but i do hope you get started in the game, and enjoy.

Take care Kathy,

Kind regards Paul x

Hi Paul,
Know what you are talking about re the TT races, we used to watch them.
You sound as confused as I am with the sticky thing used to download stuff onto haha.  I think that is gorgeous, and you have made me smile.  Thank you
My brother and family have been to Filey for a holiday some years ago, so was strange to see a known name.
Had a great time yesterday with old boss and took some pics to give her of our time together. Her hubby was featured in some of them, he passed 20 years ago.  Hope they give her pleasure.  
Today was a very productive system for me. Decided to take some recyclables in for   cashing in.
Took plastic bottles, empty cans and glass bottles in.  Filled my little boot up and received $49.60 for my efforts which will go into grandkids bank accts.  as no recycling has been  done for 11 months now I have bout 5 more trips to make.  Son intended doing but I feel his time is precious and has enough to do round his own place.  I am still fit enough to do and it keeps me busy, any excuse to be outside works for me.
Besides getting lost trying to find the place and  a kind man letting me follow him until he was heading off, he gestured out of his window as to here I should go, so basically was all ok.
Did a bit of shrub pruning today but most part was the recycling and counting process of the recyclables,  it's midnight now and 20 in kitchen but I am all wrapped up with a scarf on.  Sisters have complained they find the cold much worse after becoming acclimatised to the Aussie weather.  Mother doesn't complain, just gets on and enjoys life.
I think that the generation who have lived through WW2 probably are more chilled out than we are.
Monday's are when the badminton mob get together so have 2 more days to find those suitable shorts,  eek.  I must say am quite looking forward to getting back into it again. Remember I am shorter than the net, haha.  
Found 2 badminton racquets I brought out from home a 4.3 and 3.7 guess that is the weight in pounds and they still look in good nick so look forward to trying them out.  Finding so much stuff I didn't know I had.
Ok Paul will sign off for now,
Look after yourself,
Kathy x

Hi Kathy,

It's a wonderful feeling to know I can make poeple smile, as you would have felt meeting up with your old boss (old as in a long time ago, not old as in elderly lady). She would have treasured that time with you as well as the thoughtfulness of bringing the pictures for you to rekindle you time together.

Wow you have been busy, I thought the Assies where we'll ahead the rest of us in recycling, that has shocked me a little, but good on you for getting it all bungled up and off to the recycling plant, and such a love thing you are doing by putting all towards your grandchildrens future, (that's the money not the recycling), what a wonderful thoughtful person you are, I know I have told you that before, but it is wonderful thing you do.

Bet it was a climate adjustment for your family when they got home, it's warming up lovely here now but poor old Scotland isn't fairing too well I'm afraid. As we make our way north to Filey, just hope it's stays like this, that will make the holiday a bit more special.

Hope your badminton goes really well, take your time for the first set, then let em have it, oh dear I've forgotten how to score, well what a plonker I feel, really can't remember, ok must get on the Internet after this and sort my memory out, that's shameful isn't it, hang on a minute just thought, I have a good excuse, I'm old "ish", brain matter fading by the minute, 

I have got everything ready for George to make his pizza tomorrow, going to ask him to take a photo of his pizza before I help him demolish it, that reminds me must put new batteries in his camera ready for his holiday snaps.

Sheba goes into kennels on the Monday just before we go, going to break my heart to leave her but promised her, next time she's coming with me.

Take  great care of yourself Kathy and thank you for our chats

Kind regards Paul x 

Hi Paul,
Re my recycling I could have put it in the bins the council pick up but would have missed out on the cash refund hence my returning it myself.  Sorry if I was unclear.
All empty drink vessels are returnable, soft drink and beer cans,  milk drink cartons, plastic water bottles etc.  they pay 10c per vessel which of course encourages people to recycle. So far I think South Aust is the only state that does it.  Charities collect the aluminium ring pulls too so before crushing I chose to remove them.  At the moment my friends and myself are saving them to purchase a new electric wheelchair for a local child.  He has one supplied by the govt but would love an electric one.  Not really necessary but a nice to do thing.
I am sure Sheba will be looked after very well at the kennels,  I know my sisters dog appears not to want to come home after his stays.  
At the moment I have stew cooking to take to the kids for tomorrow nights tea.  I will make dumplings as it is reheated tomorrow so saves them from having to cook before heading out later.  Will be a nice warming meal as the winter weather kicks in.  Bread and butter pudding will be dessert.
Lots of rain today which is great for the garden.  12 ducks in the pond next door.  The grandkids will have such fun feeding them on their sleepover here weekend after next.  Will need to fill up the feed tubs from supplies in the shed in preparation.  When the kidlets visit can take them to local school and use the playground as it will still be school hols.  School is 5 mins away, maybe even take a picnic if weather dry.
Tomorrow morning I am calling into my old boss en route to the kids place.  She has an issue with her landline so we will call the supplier from her place and she can give me authority to speak on her behalf.  Her landline is connected to a medi alert system so she really needs it and a 5 day wait is not acceptable.  She rang me this morning quite agitated and as she was out all day at medical appts today I will call in on her tomorrow and hopefully get a good resolution.  If not I know how to escalate the call and get her issue sorted asap.  I can stamp my little foot when required, at the same time you catch more flies with honey than vinegar....
I am sure we will chat again before you head off on Monday.  Hope the pizzas turn out well, hope you send a pic.  Will see if I can do same with cheese scones kidlets and I intend baking on Sat.
Enjoy your sunshine
Kathy x

 

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Little George's pizza,, his classic Ham, chicken, sausage finished with a sprinkle of cheese. I was so Impressed, will never but another pizza, just get little George round.

Dear Kathy,

Have just lost my full reply to you, so sorry but it's time for me  to go out with Sheba then off to work , sorry will try again after work, sorry

Take great care

Paul x x 

Hi Kathy,

It so annoying when you have lost a full reply, is it the system, or is it me, don't know, and you think it would be easy to replicate what you have written, but for some reason I know it won't be the same. 

George's pizza was amazing, even though you would think I was trying to poison him as he wanted to taste all the ham, cheese and chicken that went onto his pizza, but it tasted amazing, so thank you for the idea and the tips, they worked a treat. His dad was impressed with the photos but not happy we didn't save him any, so next time we shall make two, but there may still be nothing left.

You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtfulness and kindness, what a wonderful thing you are doing for that young lad, you have such a big heart and should be commendd. As with your old boss helping her with her landline emergency call system, it makes you wonder somtimes what priorities authorities have, you would think it would be top of the pile.

How did you get on with the chaps and their quotes hope you got the price you where working on, I have problems with my drivers car seat, keeps dropping only a little bit it's not right, the cocky chap at the service centre was trying to tell me it was normal, so walked away before I got angry and sent an email to the customer service centre, explaining I was an highly qualified engineer and know about mechanics, and being a driving instructor, know about safe driving, hence I will be having a new seat fitted, going to call in on the way to work to organise a date and time, hope it's the same guy I first spoke to.

Hope there is a WiFi arEa so I can send a posting while on holiday, that would be nice, could send you one of George's photos, see how it's goes.

Stew and dumplings, just love stew and dumplings, can be a real fat bot when it's on the menu, always go round twice, but it's os nice isn't it.

Got to get to work so, will sign off and hope it doesn't disappear.

Take great care Kathy

Paul x x 

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Hi Paul,
Wow loved the pic of young Georges pizza.  As you say why buy them anymore when you can make your own to suit your tastes.
I returned this afternoon from the country after a lovely 2 days baby sitting.  Dog was pleased to see me, and cat quite vocal.  Both have headed off to bed for a snooze.  Dog ate better this time thankfully.
I will send a pic separately of the cheese scones.  We had such fun making them and the bread and butter pudding.  The littilies had never cracked an egg before but everything comes with practice and even though a messy experience it's the only way to learn.  The family enjoyed the stew and dumplings I provided on Friday and the last leftovers were enjoyed for lunch today.  Stew like a curry improves with age.
The plan is the little ones will sleepover next weekend ( the con is it is dependant on their behaviour in the coming week) but they will be here.  The 4 yr old wants to sleep on the magic (sofa) bed, the 2 yr old wants to sleep in the water bed.  Guess we can do 1st night on one and 2nd on the other.
On the Sat morn I woke to find toaster not working...then the kettle....and TV.  Lights were ok.  After spending ages searching outside of the property looking for power box had to bite the bullet and call son.  Safety switch had tripped.  Eventually I discovered power cords and extension in shed had water damage due to heavy rain and leaks so once I removed those plugs from sockets was able to reset switch and all was well.  Phew thankfully freezer was all ok. 
Rodney the rooster charged at me, had a fishing net on pole as deterrent , cheeky blighter.  The kids have 2 roosters and 5 hens.  In the chook shed at night, but allowed to roam around the property during daylight.  Rodney is a bit mean spirited, there's a difference between protecting the girls and being aggressive so don't forecast a long life for him.  Come spring and summer the kids won't be allowed to play in the garden unless an adult is standing guard.
There is a back lawn enclosed area clothes line etc but you can't plant anything there as the dog is a digger so kids can play there but not weed, garden etc.Their dog is a Rottweiler x kelpie and can easily bowl the little one over unintentionally.
Was so hoping Argentinian Moto GP would be televised at a more civilised time tonight.... but no another 4.30am race, ah well no one is forcing me to get up and watch it, it's my choice.  My mum and 2 sisters Skyped me tonight as eldest sis couldn't believe Valentino Rossi was still racing.  He's only 37, just a baby just being competing a long time and good on him.  To have a job you love, magic.
When are you getting car seat replaced?  Don't some plonkers give you the horrors.  There is nothing wrong with being safety conscious, most important as you well know.
My old boss had a great resolution to complaint and was all sorted by Friday avo.  I must make time to see her more often.
Have hubbys CD player now picked up from sons today.  First 2 CDs stopped working -error so seeing if 3rd plays all the way through.  Son said to DIL "guess mum doesn't know you can play CDs on DVD player and on laptop" my reply " don't confuse me".  Will be great to take music out front while I am out there gardening and inflict my taste on neighbours !!!!
Re The quotes not sure if latest one is quoting for repairs really required as is more than double the other one.  They say wooden facia at back of house is splitting but to my eye is not lifting or rotting???  Side one is warped so I can understand replacing that one.
I think once I am gone the house will be sold to a developer and town houses or units built on the land so am thinking along the lines of do what I want to do and need to do for security and maintenance but cosmetic stuff???  Maybe I overthink things sometimes.
Mail which I retrieved today from Friday is an invite from local palliative care team to a remembrance service in May for those who have passed Oct 2014 - March 2015.  Involves names being  read out and opportunity to light a candle.  Don't know how I feel about this.  Invite itself upset me after a lovely time away.  May be healthy although upsetting to attend.  It's in mid May and also opportunity to invite others to attend eg in laws, son and family and friends.  I don't feel I need a public service to allow me to grieve.  Maybe will chat to a few mates about it before making a decision.
Anyway Paul hope you have a great time in Filey and the weather will be kind to you.
Have a great time and enjoy,
Kathy xx
 

Hi Kathy,

It's sounds like you had great time with the little ones, but I knew you would, I think my grandchildren are a bit better behaved with me, but they can twist their mum round their finger, but they on the other hand, I'd do spoil them, I wonder what would happen if I let George loose cracking an egg, but as you say, it's a learning curve, so you can only expect a little mess, and your so right about the stew, it's so much nicer, just wished it lasted a little long, sorry that's me being greedy.

Kathy you have set me off again, our next bake will be cheese scones, they look so nice, I'm not being funny but I think I can smell them, feel hungry again. Little George won't sleep over, he always wants his mum, dad or brother, although he said he would sit with me as we drive to Filey, but we shall have to wait and see, surpose it's nice he wants to be with mum or dad though.

We had a  similar problem when we moved into our new house in Nottingham, all the down stair lights were not working, we called out an electrician, he flicked the trip switch and charged us £35, won't make that mistake again. Children and technology, smarty pants arn't they, even little George shows me things on the iPad , it's just amazing how quick they pick things up, hope he's as good when he starts real school.

You always have to question what is the best thing when having quotes, the most economical thing to do without waisting money on a cheap job dont you, I feel quite lucky I can do most things myself, but facia's, drains, exterior repair is usually left to the professionals. But it is always good to have the thoughts of others isn't it, I'm sure you will do the right thing.

So sorry you were upset about the rememberance service, it does catch you out sometimes dos'nt it, bt you are one of the strongest ladies I know, and once again I know you will do the right thing, which ever path you choose, my thoughts will be with you, I think a lot about what you said once about how our love ones are with us always, although they are not here in body they will always be with us, always there if we need them, I still ask Dawn what to do, and apologize when I get a little tipsy or do something silly, We shall always be together.

Kathy you are such a positive lady, you have helped me, only wish I could help you in some way, feel a bit guilty, knowing you have been hurting, but without sounding horrible , if anyone can be strong, positive and do the right thing it is you.

Take great care of yourself, will be in touch soon.

Kind regards Paul x x