I'm not sure where to start, my mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer after many visits to her GP in the year prior with stomach pain, back ache & not really feel like eating & feeling bloated the GP who kept saying my mum had IBS my mum was 73 years old & very much an energetic person always on the go and doing for others in February this year she was diagnosed & passed away on 5th September and I am the youngest of my siblings & I just had my 40th birthday on the 4th September and I have never felt such strong emotions as I also helped look after my mum in her last few weeks and I was to go and see her the 6th of September as I live far away, but it wasn't to be. I miss my mum so much as I used to call her everyday and also visited with my own children, I am off my work and I really want to go back as I know my mum wouldn't want me sitting at home but I'm so sad and when the kids are at school that's when I breakdown and cry, I wish more could've been done to help my mum & others suffering, I don't feel time is a great healer as I miss her so much, can one suggest any support groups or things you've done to remember the loss of a loved one, I am strong for my kids and we laugh and joke about their nan & how we miss her and what she liked etc and that helps, I just miss her & it's been 10 weeks today, all my brothers & sister stay in different areas and abroad so I feel lost and would really like to do something positive for my mum to be proud.
Welcome to the forum! You have come to the right place to talk to others who can really understand what you are going through. Many of our members have also lost a parent and I am sure they will have great suggestions of support groups they have joined or things they have done to remember their loved one.
We also thought this article Coping with Grief from our Cancer Help page may also be helpful to you. But as there is nothing like personal stories and feeling you are not alone, I will now let others come and say hello to you and share their own difficult experience of losing a loved one.
Hi AllyH,
First of all let me pass on my condolences on your loss.
I am glad you have made contact with this forum, there are a lot of lovely people here who can offer support and understanding. You can rant and rave as much as you want and we will understand .
What you are feeling and going through is quite normal.
I lost my husband of 30 years 07/10/14. I have found I can be strong around others but it's when you are alone that the tears and loneliness hits you. My personal experience is that this is something we have to go through -the pain and tears.
I hope you have a good network of family and friends, it does help to talk.
I returned to work 2 weeks ago and that was a good decision for me. It gives me 8 hours a day of "normality'. As you say mum wouldn't want you sitting at home being miserable. Life is for living.
I am sure you couldn't have done any more for mum than you did. She was so fortunate having such a lovely, loving daughter.
I have set up a in memorium page on the little heroes website (in Australia) in lieu of flowers etc friends have donated, the funds going to assist children with health issues. I intend volunteering with them and our local palliative care unit in the future, when the time is right for me
You have to look after yourself Ally. I am positive mum is already proud of you and good on you for looking for ways to help others. You sound like a very caring person.
Take care Ally,
Big hugs
Kathy x
Firstly let me offer my condolences. When someone we love dies it is devastating. There's always feelings of "if only" and regrets. That's natural. You are grieving. It takes time. I won't say you'll get over it, because you won't. But you will get used to it. My Dad died of cancer 24 years ago and my lovely mother-in-law died of cancer nearly 21 years ago. I miss them terribly at times.
But after the initial shock and sadness, you will be able to have happy memories of your Mum. Her DNA lives on in you and your children.
But at the moment, its early days. How you feel is how you feel. Just feel it, but try to also feel grateful that your Mum was in your life, that she knew your children (my Dad died before mine were born) and anything else that helps to comfort you.
Thankyou so much Kathy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband too , your reply has made me realise that the tears will come & go but I must do something positive , also going back to work even if its just for a few hours a week as life goes on and we also have to live it as best we can. Xx
Many Thanks its so nice to hear from others who know what I'm going through as I find it hard to talk about my emotions, I have to make my mum proud and do my best & be strong xx
Hi Thankyou all so much for thoughts and support, I have replied to you all, I must apologise as I think I got the replays for Nell & Kathy mixed up, I really am emotional & am a bit mixed up and apologies if the replies were confusing, once again Thankyou for all your kind words I'm so grateful xx
dear allyh, i lost my mum to ovarian cancer on dec 27th last year 2014, i remember mum getting pain in her shoulders last june she also sufferd from stomach bloating for a few years but the GP said it was trapped wind he thobbed her of saying it was arthritis, since then she had been taking five tramodal tablets a day to combat the pain, but come last november mum was in bed sick for a few weeks, we got in her into the hospital the third week because she was weak and could not eat, a few days later when mum had the scan the family was told to go up and when they explained in the room what it was ovarian cancer could not believe it, they was fluid from top tp bottom and they had to drain four bags of this fluid from her, mum was sick continuious everyday, and could not move of the bad, when they got the results back from the fluid she was told she had only weeks to live but sadly passed three days later we all miss her so much it was her birthday on 1st feb 2015 she would have been seventy four. after doing some research they say ovarian cancer is hard to detect and you dont get any sickeness systems untill it has already advanced, but my worry is GP telling you it is something else like ibs and trapped wind more should be done to detect this horrible diease early
Hi Oggi I'm sorry for your loss & thanks for your reply, My mum too was told it was IBS & again was misdiagnosed, it's so hard too, you mentioned your mums birthday, my mum would've been 74 to this year month of January 2015. I really miss my mum and its so hard, I hope you're ok and take care x
Apologies for late reply as Im finding it really hard , I was youngest of five children & my mum was so good to me & my kids, I always remember her doing for everyone else & putting her kids first, she worked really hard too, I miss her so much.
