My very sad loss

Hello my lovely forum friends Well I have just got through the two year anniversary of my lovely David's death and I still miss him more than ever, please forgive me for not posting as I have found this second year without him extremely difficult actually harder than the first year as I was convinced he was coming home and all this was a bad dream. However, I now realise that this is not to be and life is very lonely without him I don't know where to go or what to do to make myself happy and I am very annoyed with myself as David would not want this for me I just feel so lonely. Anyway I am so sorry to go on like this how are you all I do hope everything is going ok for you all and please forgive me for not being in touch as I have felt so sad Please take care Beryl xxxx

  • Hi Beryl,.

    So pleased to see your name crop up again and can well understand you missing David, for you had such a close and loving relationship. Many years ago when my wife was in hospital being diagnosed with diabetes, she was in there for well over a week. I was still working so the grandparents looked after our son. But when I came home at night after visiting time, the hoUse seemed so cold and empty without Mrs B.even though I knew she was coming home. so I have some idea of what you have faced and are still facing. I remember my mother saying after she had lost my step dad, that she found the evnings the worst time as during the day she kept pretty busy but the evenings hit her hard.

    Beryl, allthough I love chatting to you, you do not have to apologise for not posting on a regular basis, just do it as and when you feel like it. You know your forum friends are here for you at anytime.

    As for me I am very well and still suffering badly from Brianitus. I have not been on the site so regular myself as I have been doing a lot of woodturning again, having had a break from it for nearly two years but the wood  bug bit me again and I have to say I have really enjoyed turning something out of scap timber. It has kept poor Mrs B busy cleaning up the sawdust I bring indoors with me. i have [roduced more new lines in the last few months than I have ever done before.

    Take care Beryl and will be thinking of you best wishes, Brian

                                       

  • Dear Brian 

    How lovely to hear from you yes I still very sad and have decided that life will never ever be the same again and there is nothing I do about it I just keep trying to move on and can't I am so lonely.

    I keep having attacks of Brianitis a tin of celebrations and heroes jumped into my trolley this afternoon.  I am do glad you are still doing your woodwork but I feel so sorry for Mrs B having to clean all that messy sawdust away.  I will keep on touch and I am so pleased you are feeling well.

    Take care

     Beryl xx

     

  • Hello Beryl its lovely to see your name again ,2 years since losing your David and I know exactly how you feel my Tony will have been gone for 2 years in Feb and like you I felt as if in a nightmare but soon realised I wasnt Beryl it would be so much easier if we didnt love our men like we do wouldnt it but its because we did and still do and loved them for most of our lives that makes it so hard ..And loneliness is unbearible at times even in a room full of people without that special person is so hard ..How is you cat animals are lovely company and how is your daughter ,My eldest Andrea has been in hospital for six weeks the last 4 in the neurelogical dept she thought she had had a stroke but tests showed she has M S she also has 4 blood clts on her brain that they think have been there for a while so when the time is right she has to go to another hospital to see the specialist to see what they plan on doing about them she has had to learn to walk ,wash herself her hair make tea everything realy its such a worrying time but she has made good progress with the help of physios and O Ts Beryl please whenever you feel lonely come and chat I wish I could say something to make you feel better big hug Beryl   Sueanne x

  • Hello Beryl, It's lovely to see your name again, I haven't been on here so much myself recently, especially since the site has changed - am still trying to find my way around it!

    I was sad to read that you are still feeling very lonely.  I think as time passes people around us think that we should be back to normal, however in many ways the longer the time the more obvious the loss is.  I remember a memorial service I went to when my parents died which was held by the hospice; the minister gave a good speech about grieving and he said that as we approach year 2 the enormity of loss really sets in, but he also said that the healing starts to take place. I know your life will never be the same without your lovely David, but I do hope the pain begins to be a little less raw.  However, allow yourself to continue to grieve for as long as you need. I think if you love somebody so much you cannot possibly just end the grief, because you will always miss them, I think it is just the way in which we grieve that changes. I cannot imagine a day when I won't feel sad at the loss of my wonderful parents, but I am now able to approach the loss in a different way and have slowly learnt to enjoy things again.  I reallly hope you can find some peace to enjoy things again too.  Take care.  Hope x

  • Dearest Sueann How lovely to hear from you I am so sorry to see that you daughter has MS both my Mum and brother had it and it is such a terrible debilitating illness I'm sure you have had enough worry to last you a lifetime I wish I lived nearer to you and then I would come and have a cuppa with you and give you a big hug. You are quite right we loved our men so much and I can now relate to that saying being in a crowd and feeling so lonely. My daughter is moving to Cambridge with her new man that came as a shock as she only lives 10 minutes away from me I shall miss her dreadfully but she has to be happy that is the main thing. My two cats Maggie and Poppet are fine such good company I love them to pieces so fascinating to watch them washing each other. Please let me know how your daughter gets on poor love I am thinking of you. Big hugs to you Beryl xx
  • Hello Hope How lovely it is to hear from you and your minister has hit the nail on the head year two has been a killer for me and people seem to think that you should be over it all by now but unfortunately I have found year 2 absolutely horrendous I still miss my lovely David so much and have found this year 2 thing very very hard I keep trying to find peace but to no avail hopefully thing will get easier one day. I am so pleased to see that you are coming to terms with the loss of your parents as I know you loved them so much and you experienced such terrible pain and hopefully one day I will find just a little bit of happiness. Take care lots of hugs Beryl xx
  • Hi Beryl

    So lovely to see your name on here again, I too have not visited too much recently but just check in from time to time. It's still such early days for you Beryl since you lost your beloved Dave and yes, somehow the passing of the years really does not make your loss any easier to cope with. 

    It was 4 years last week since I lost my beloved Doug and time is not healing my hurt, like you the passing years don't make it any easier to cope with. There are so many things I can't do anymore because the pain is too much to bear, like listening to our favourite music, watching our favourite music DVD's or watching our favourite films. I thought as time passed it would become easier but so far that's not the case. It was 4 years ago today that I held Doug's funeral, which was fitting as he was very much a supporter of the Poppy Appeal.

    No need for you to apologise for not being in touch, I think everyone who visits this forum knows the reasons why we sometimes can't keep in contact.

    Take care Beryl

    Joan xxxx

     

     

     

  • Hello Holly So lovely to hear from you and like you I cannot watch music DVD's or listen to music or watch films that we both loved as it is far too painful and my heart goes out to you as it is 4 years today that you held your lovely Dougs funeral and these anniversaries are the hardest to bear. It was 2 years last month that I held David's funeral and it was also our wedding anniversary, so I am very glad to see the back of October. No life is not getting any easier and I can also feel your pain but hopefully one day things will get just a little better and not quite as sad. Take care Holly Lovely to hear from you Beryl xx
  • Hello again Beryl,

    I am really praying that you can find that little bit of happiness again, I am sure there will come a time when you do and when that time comes your memories of David will always be part of it, but hopefully the pain less raw.  I know that October was a terrible month for you and coupled with that we now face winter approaching which in my opinion doesn't help.  As I go into my 2nd year I know I find the grey weather and dark nights seem to make me think about things more, so I can't begin to imagine how it is for you in your home that you shared with your lovely David.  I remember that you have grown up children, and I do hope that you get time to spend with them as I'm sure that being around loved ones helps enormously when we are feeling low. You have many friends on here so don't sit there feeling lonely, there will always be somebody to talk to here.  Take care and we'll speak again.  Hope xx

  • Hi Beryl, First of all let me pass on my condolences on the lost of your Darling David 2 years ago. My heart does out to you. What on earth are heroes?? Sorry but it's. Been 30 years since I have lived in the U K so please forgive my ignorance. Big virtual hugs Kathy