Hi Brian

Lovely to hear from you I have just realised my Brianitis ha returned with a vengeance I was in my local shop for my newspaper and crisps, maltesers and whole nut chocolate appeared in my bag.  The maltesers keep jumping into my mouth two at a time please send help I have this disease very bad at present.

If you take up that occupation at the nut shop you would be rolling home not walking and Mrs B would have to push you upstairs.  The weather here is horrible today so hope for a better day tomorrow.

Lovely to hear from you Brian

Take care

Beryl xxxxx

Hello Holly

So nice to hear from you I do hope you had a super Mother's Day and you were spoilt rotten.  I did feel for you especially with it being Mothers Day  David always took me somewhere lovely for lunch then round to see our children so I can imagine how you felt this time around.  I try to tell myself now that anniversaries are just days and then I don't feel so sad.  I think of you often Hope and I truly hope that your pain and suffering will become a little easier.

Take care and remember they are still with you loving you as always

Take care my love

Hugs

Beryl xxxxx

Hello my dear friend Beryl

Well not long now until you head up to see your sister on the 14th, I hope you have a nice relaxing break and give yourself time to think about maybe making the move back up north. I can imagine you will be torn between being back among your friends or living near your son and daughter. Big decisions but you will make the right one in the end Beryl. From what you've writen you and your sister will be having a good laugh, it will do you the world of good.

I know how desperately you miss your beloved David and he will be with you wherever you go. Isn't it so lonely when you haven't got that special person to turn and chat to every day. So many things I want to tell Doug about, just daft little every day things, which just go unsaid in the end. It's hard to describe but I think you will know exactly what I mean. Sometimes things happen in your life and you just want to share your thoughts and feelings with your special person.

This Saturday I will be going to York for my friend's birthday, I hope the weather stays ok, it's turned really cold and windy again, and we've had more rain today. Yesterday would have been ok if it hadn't been for the strong cold wind. I do hope spring is not far away! I really need to cut the grass but it's soaked again, so it will be put off until another day. I hope you are managing to get your little seedlings done, mine are growing very slowly so I'll leave them for a little while. I must try to buy some bedding plants soon so I can get some hanging baskets planted up ready for the summer. If we get one.............

Have you managed to get into Southampton yet for your new shoes and other items? The shops are filling up with lovely summer clothes and holiday clothes and yet it still feels like winter.

Poppy seems ok now and isn't quite as nervous when I let her outside to play. I haven't seen that nasty cat any more. If it comes back it will get squirted with my water pistol which I've got fully loaded and ready by the back door. Do you have to put your cats in the cattery when you go to Aughton or does someone come in to look after them? I bet whatever you do they will have fallen out with you when you bet back home, ha ha.

Take care, love and hugs

Joan

xxxx

Hi Beryl

Just wanted to wish you a lovely stay with your sister.  I am sure when the time comes to make such an important decision with regards to a move you  must go where you feel you can be happiest.  Such decisions are never straightforward but I really wish you well.  Jules xx

Hi Jules

So lovely to hear from you, I am thoroughly enjoying myself with my sister she is like a breath of fresh air.  I can't make up my mind wether to move back here or stay near my children I know far more people here and I know I wouldn't be lonely it is such a tough decision

I do hope hubby is doing well and also mum and most of all how are you coping I do hope all is ok.

Well off to bed now nite nite

Love and hugs

Beryl xxxx

Morning Beryl

The only way I can look at things is to say what would be best for yourself and if you decided moving back 'home' would make you happy grab the opportunity.  We have always taken the view that our children have to live their own lives in their own way (and we never know when they might move themselves).  I am sure they would be supportive whereever you are (they would want you to be happy too). Its great that you are enjoying time with your sister (and regular company can be very important when you are 'healing' from loss).

As for us, hubby is still dealing with his illness in his own quiet way.  Is taking a little more pain relief and spends most days in front of the tv.  Still enjoying visits from friends and family (puts on quite an effort for visitors but it can take it out of him).  Mum is plodding on, still having the same gloomy thoughts and doubt that will change now. Am visiting as usual today and will pop in over the Easter weekend too.  We have a visit to my son and his girlfriend on Sunday to enjoy (daughter and family will be going too) and then I am working all day Easter Monday when it is possible hubby's sister may find time to pop in to see hubby (with news about how they(she, younger brother and his wife) got on property hunting  during their visit to the Isle of Man a couple of weeks ago).  We had an e-mail yesterday wondering if we were around (first contact since a text on hubby's birthday whilst they were away).

As for me, normality is how hubby wants it so I do my best to keep to normal things (whatever that is!!) and we take things as they come, when the come and more or less from check up to check up. Its certainly a different type of life for us now but we do what we can when we can.  The support of our children and close friends(and great medical team) plus my virtual buddies keeps us smiling. I will borrow a phrase from 'Access' on another thread,' you cannot control the uncontrolables'  so we must make the most of what control we do have.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday Beryl and find some peace in your eventual decision.  Big hugs  Jules xx

Hello again my dear friend Beryl

Well we did have a really lovely day in York last Saturday. And then Good Friday it was my niece's wedding which was wonderful and she got the most glorious weather, lucky lady. It was a very emotional day, a few people were very near to tears especially at the speeches and when the groom toasted 'absent friends' I almost broke down but managed to fight back my tears. I truly wished that Doug had been sitting with me at that wedding as we'd always said that we were dying for our niece to get wed. Still it was a lovely day and I would not have missed it for the world. I've felt quite emotional all weekend, I'm sure you know that feeling only too well Beryl.

I hope you are enjoying spending some time with your sister and have spent some time pondering over your decisions on whether to move back to the north west. Even if you've just had a little look around at the housing market it will maybe give you a feel of what's out there if you do decide to move. No harm in looking Beryl and you can take as long as you want in deciding if the move is right for you.

Your cats will be so happy to see you when you do get home (although maybe they might be a bit off hand to start with, they'll be thinking 'how dare you leave us'). It's good that you have such a nice neighbour to look after them and someone who you can trust. The cats will forgive you - eventually!!

Well my friend and I were back at the little club last night and won a little bit more money on the bingo, £30 this time - pays for the night out!

I must try to spend a bit of time doing some gardening soon, I've got seedlings that need pricking out, the grass needs to be cut again, and I want to start planting up some hanging baskets. It seems the time just goes nowhere these days (or I'm getting lazier). I do love my garden but never dreamt that I would be doing it all on my own.

Well I'm off to see if Poppy wants to come in and have her tea so I'll say bye bye for now and hope to hear from you soon.

Lots of love and hugs

Joan

xxxx