Hello Beryl so sorry that you feel so sad , its a hard road to follow this grief  is very hard to get over ,im afraid to say but I still cry every day missing my Tony is unbearable .You and I have loved our hubbies for so long its understandable that we are missing them as we do .I see my children daily but evenings are the worst for me im so lonely no one to talk to or to cuddle or love oh god its so hard isnt it .I hope your cats didnt too upset going to the vet  a nice treat and they will be back to normal Its also nice to get out into the garden  and sunshine ,but hard work mowing and weeding and pruning but lovely when finishedPHEW I took Rusty to the beach on Saterday he had a lovely run and met another greyhound called Bella and he was happy .Its not so nice here in Cornwall todayvery foggyand chillybut thankfully dry ..My neighbour saw me in the garden and invited me over for a coffee I hadnt seen them to talk to for a while he told me he has cancer of the esophicos spread to his liver sorry i dont know the right spelling and his wife has cancer too she has been ill for a few years now (limphoma}its so sad they are lovely neighbours..This desease cancer is evil ..just the word makes me so angry..Beryl how is the fuscia garden looking they will soon be in flower .I like all the daffs in my garden they make me smile oh and I planted a bleeding heart [dicentra] Beryl I dont come onto the forum a lot these days but know our virtual friends are always here to listen try to be strong we wont feel like this forever will we ,big hugfor you Beryl ....Susananne

Hello my dear friend Beryl

I was so pleased today to see a message from you and no, I don't forgive you for not writing - because there in nothing to forgive!  When I hadn't heard from you for a while I guessed that you might be struggling and finding life very difficult just now. I know that feeling only too well Beryl, and 17 months is no time at all so you have to stop beating yourself up and stop being cross with yourself. I had not forgotten you and was just waiting until you felt up to coming back on here, I'm so glad you're back! We're all here to help each other no matter what, so don't ever think you would be inflicting misery as I'm sure you have realised by the lovely replies you've had today.

Poppy is ok, fast asleep in the conservatory at the minute. I hope your two are ok after being taken off to the vets today for their jabs. Yes they absolutely hate going don't they. Poppy isn't as bad as Holly used to be - Holly was terrified and had to be prised out of the cat carrier, she used to cling on for all she was worth, poor thing.

I did manage to get a dress for the wedding though it's not exactly what I was after. The dresses I really liked just didn't suit me so I had to have a re-think. I've also got shoes, handbag and fascinator, so I think I'm all sorted. Can't believe the wedding is now only 5 weeks away.

Still visiting the little club too. Tomorrow is my friend's birthday and I asked her where she wanted to go to celebrate. 'To the little club' she said, so that's where we'll be heading tomorrow night. When it's my birthday, later in the year, I want to go on a trip to Blackpool - haven't been there for ages.

I managed to get the grass cut for the first time this year, seeing as we were enjoying some nice spring like weather. I say grass, it's getting more and more like moss every year, very springy to walk on. But I can hardly refer to is as a lawn now. I also did a bit of weeding and tidying up and cleaned the outside windows! I love the nice weather but today is dull, cold, and windy, so back to normal.

Take care Beryl, and glad you're feeling just a little bit better.

Love and hugs, Joan

xxxxx

Hi Jules

So lovely  to hear from you  i do hope all is well with you and hubbby is feeling much better, how is mum coping these days,  I do hope she is happy it helps if just one is feeling better.

The weather has been gorgeous here in Southampton so back to the gardening I cleaned and scrubbed my patios yesterday I was covered in dift and mud when I finished it was such hard work.

It doesnt seem as nice bere today so i will have to leave the garden until this afternoon hopefully it will come warmer.

Anyway you take care Jules and thank you so much for caring.

Love and hugs

Beryl xxxx

Hello Susanne

Lovely to hear from you, yes I have been feeling very sad of late but brightened up a bit when i was able to get into my garden.  Yes this grief is awful and I miss my lovely David so very much.   I know that lonely feeling of an evening nobody to talk to or love and today is another anniversary for me David and I met on St Patricks day and it seems just like yesterday I miss him so much.  The cats are back to normal although they were very traumatised after their visit to the vets I too was traumatised as I hate having to take them I feel so guilty.

My fuscia garden is starting to look good and i have sewn 8 boxes of seeds so hopefully they will grow although the pricking out will be horrendous much tolerance needed which I don't have a lot of at present.

Thank you for your support Susananne and i will get strong and hopefully like you say not feel like this forever.

A big sloppy kiss for Rusty and a big furry kiss for button and for you loads of hugs

Love Beryl xxxxx

Hello my lovely Joan

So lovely to hear from you and yes I have been struggling Joan and today is yet another anniversary I met my lovely David on St Patricks day it only seems like yesterday since we met where did it all go.

The cats are fine after their traumatised visit to the vets although Poppet has to go on a diet  she is overweight, but Joan she does not over eat so i will ha e to give her less i suppose.

I am so pleased you got your dress i bet its gorgeous and 5 weeks to go wow thats not long at all.  I am pleased you are visiting your little club it sounds fab id be there I would be there like a shot if i lived nearer.

My garden is looking really good first mow done and the dafffs are just gorgeous and the weather has been lovely here very warm but not as nice today.

Well my love fab to hear from you please keep in touch my lovely friend and I send you lots of hugs.

Love always

Beryl xxxxxx

Hi Beryl,

Hope you are keeping well, just wanted you to know, I often think of you, and how you are doing, I don't come on here very often as it brings a lot of painful memories back when I read some of the stories similar to DONNA,S , STILL bloody hurts, just want you to stay strong as possible when the going get tough, I'm sure your DAVID. Will be very proud of you.

   Take care Beryl x x

Hello my dear friend Beryl

It is most certainly a struggle trying to come to terms with our loss, so difficult, and as you say, a struggle. The anniversaries that come around are very hard to cope with and I'm so pleased that you are back on here to share some of your feelings with people who do understand.

I know it's awful when the vet tells you that your pet is overweight especially when they don't overeat. Holly was just the same, she always was a big cat and the vet told us off for overfeeding her - Poppy eats much more but is so thin and only half the size that Holly was. I don't think it's always down to overeating.

Well, Saturday we went to the little club for my friend's birthday, we had such a good fun night. It's lovely to forget your troubles and laugh, if only for a few hours, because reality waits when we go home at the end of the night. Doug would be very pleased that I was trying to get on with my life without him, but I really don't want to - I want him back in my life where he belongs. Not going to happen......

This Saturday I'm off to my niece's hen party, should be good. I don't think I'll be joining them when they go clubbing later on though! I'll take myself home and just enjoy the few hours that I attend the party.

I'm just waiting for the better weather to come along so I can get out in the garden more. I really love the garden and like you, just wish I could still share it with my beloved husband. It's really not the same doing it all on my own but I don't want to neglect it as Doug really loved our garden so I do it in his memory.

Tomorrow I'll be going to see my friend who I help with the computer, then we will go out for our lunch. She hasn't been well for a couple of weeks so we have a bit of catching up to do.

Take care Beryl, hope to hear from you soon.

Love and hugs

Joan

xxxxx

Hello John

What a lovely surprise it is so lovely to hear from you, I do hope you are well and I too often think about you and how you are coping.  The pain is unbelievable at times and like you I hurt so much.

I just know that your lovely Donna will be so proud of you as you are doing so well and you are so determined to stay strong as it is so hard when you lose the person you love with all your heart.

How is Benji please give him a hug and a kiss from me and of course a big hug for you.

Love Beryl xxxx

Hello my lovely Joan

Well at last I am feeling better I have had an awful couple of weeks where life became unbearable  I so miss my lovely David.  I am so pleased you went to your little club and I do hope you you enjoyed the hen party.  I am absolutely certain that Doug would have been so proud of you  I am too  you have made such a huge effort to turn your life around and make the best of what you have.  Like you I want David back in my life and this the hardest part you just know they are not coming back it hurts so much.

I am going out for lunch today with a friend so that should be good and lunch with my daughter on Saturday for Mother's Day.  My son is coming Sunday so all in all I have a busy week and oh I am at my sons Thursday staying over night it is so nice to have a bit of company.

Well I will have to go and do a few chores before I get ready so lovely to hear from you Joan take  care I send you loads of love and hugs.

Beryl xxxx