Hello again my dear friend Beryl

Astonished to read about your lovely fussy *** cats, I have a really fussy *** cat called Poppy. I got her from a cat rescue centre in May 2012 because the beautiful cat that Doug and I owned died in December 2011, just over a year after Doug died. She was called Holly and we had took her in after we found her in our garden in November 20005 - I adored her so much! She became poorly about 6 months after Doug died and despite trips backwards and forwards to the vet they didn't seem able to do anything to help her. Poppy is a lovely cat but I'm afraid that no cat could ever replace my gorgeous Holly.

Well, Poppy was supposed to eat whatever was put down in front of her but I'm afraid that's no longer the case. In the end she's decided that pate is her favourite cat food and in fact my sister has to go to Morrison's for their own make which she seems to enjoy - for the minute! But I totally understand your frustrations when buying a nice new brand of cat food and they just turn their noses up, and then to top it all you hear about your sister's holiday, it all just seems too much.

I know how it feels when people seems to be booking their holidays and it's what you and your David would have been doing too - in fact January was always the month when Doug and I decided when and where we were going for our hols. So no it's not jealousy, if anything it's just a longing for the times in the past when you would have been doing the same. My sister and her hubby often just book a holiday and I do feel that loneliness because it's exactly what we used to do.

Tomorrow I'm going to see a good friend who I used to work with, she's a lot older than me but we get on great, she's young at heart. We go on her computer for whatever she wants to do - ordering goods, putting the lottery on etc. as she's nervous doing a lot of things unless I'm there. It helps me too because I feel as if I'm needed. Don't know about you Beryl but one thing I miss is being needed! Even before Doug got poorly I used to make sure he was ok and make him nice meals etc. but I loved that we were such a great team and did most things together.

Yes I wish miracles could happen, sometimes it's impossible to believe that we won't see our wonderful husbands again on this earth. What I would give to have a few more minutes with Doug as I'm sure you would too, with your beloved David.

Take care Beryl, love and hugs, Joan xxxx

Hi Beryl

I have been thinking about you lately.  My mum said the same thing the other night when she heard a friend of hers was going on holiday with her husband.  She said to me that she and my dad never got away on their own through 40 years plus of marriage and she deeply regrets this.  She said she isn't jealous of her friend just wishes she had done things a little better.

My father wasn't a great traveller especially abroad due to having a bad chest for most of his life.

Why did you feel guilty about getting up later.  You are right Beryl you only have yourself to answer to and you can lie as long as you wish.  These mornings are horrible to get up to early.

My mum feels the same if she has a lie in and like you she is the same.

I hope you start to feel better Beryl but remember it does take time.  My mum still feels down at times and she lost my father nine years this June.

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Well hello  Mickied

How lovely to hear from you I do hope you are well and you enjoyed Christmas I spent Christmas with my son and Boxing Day with my daughter it was very difficult but I kept a stiff upper lip because I was determined my Granddaughters were going to have a happy time.

You are quite right I can lie in if I wish as for many years I always got up early 7.10 being a lie in for me.

I have good days and bad days mostly bad but if I have a good day it pleases me immensely.  I do hope your children are well and being good, also how is the cat.  Mine have been in all day they don't like to go out in the rain I love them dearly and they are very spoilt as they are really good company for me.

Lovely to hear from you Mickied please keep in touch

Love and hugs

Beryl xxx

Hello my dear friend Beryl

I do hope you managed to find some suitable food for your fussy cats, eeh what are they like eh? What happened to 'cats will eat anything'? It certainly isn't the case for my Poppy, what she likes one day she doesn't like another day. I've managed to find a suitable food for her from Morrison's (their own make) which she loves at the minute. I can't get to Morrison's but my sister shops there so thankfully she has been getting the food for me.

We had a nice afternoon on Thursday when I went to see my friend, also another of our friends came along unexpectedly which was a real treat as she works full time and doesn't get chance to take time off very often (her mum has Alzheimers so a big chunk of her spare time is taken up helping her dad).

Yesterday afternoon I went to see a friend who I've known since school days! We try to meet up every other week either at her house or mine, then we go into town for the evening. We had a good time and it helps a lot because I know if I'm sitting here on my own I always end up in floods of tears, there's always something to trigger it off.

I hope you have managed to buy a few nice things to sort out what sounds like a wonderful room that you and David used to spend so much time in. It does sound as if you need to make some changes to it so you don't always remember the bad times. The room that reminds me so much of Doug is our conservatory that we added in 2006. We used to use it all year round but it was much better in the summer - in the winter it was lovely too as we had one of those stove heaters to keep us warm, two sofas, a little TV etc.. Now I only use it in the summer months, my heart isn't in it anymore.

Try not to feel guilty about getting up late Beryl, just get up when you want to, plenty of rest is most important. I still do a couple of little cleaning jobs which warrant me having to get up at 5.30 am Monday to Saturday, but come Sunday I lie in as long as possible. I still wake up really early out of habit but I get up, let Poppy out, make a cup of tea and go back to bed to read my book. I, like you, have little to look forward to in my life, but that is one of my little guilty pleasures!

Take care

Love and hugs, Joan

xxxxxx

Hello my lovely Joan

Lovely to hear from you I have managed to find some food for the cats it is called Felix Doubly Delicious and they are both devouring it at present.  I am so glad you enjoyed Thursday afternoon just the tonic you need Joan.  You seem to have a nice network of friends and that is good.  I don't see a lot of people as we moved here to Southampton with David's job and the bulk of my friends are all up north so as you can imagine Joan I get very sad and lonely at times.

I can't believe it Joan do you know the room that I am changing was added on to our bungalow in 2006 we have so much in common, I have bought some new throws for the chairs and a new lamp so just waiting now for the decorator to start.   Like you Joan I am only going through the motions with this room business because to be honest my heart is not it it at all I couldn't care less if it got painted or not I just want my lovely David back isn't life cruel Joan.

I did some cooking today decided to stock my freezer up otherwise I don't bother cooking for myself I made loads of meals for myself so it is easy to get a frozen meal out rather than not bothering at all.

Well my lovely go you take care of yourself and please keep in touch

Love and hugs

Beryl xxxxxx

Hi Beryl,

Hope you are feeling okay. Have you been affected by the floods at all? We have been very lucky so far. To access our back garden from the rear of our place, you have to go down three steps and where our house is built used to be a pond years ago. Our back garden has two or three times been underwater and I was getting worried as in the past I have had to go out and lift up a bid drain cover to get rid of the water. The grass still keeps growing but it is waterlogged and will take some time to dry out.

I am surprised how much you and Joan have in common and it must be comforting to be able to talk to someone who knows exactly how you feel. That's why this forum is so badly needed.

Do take care and will talk again soon I hope. Best wishes, Brian

Well hello Brian

As always I am so pleased to hear from you.  With regards to the floods, I have been very lucky it looks very wet everywhere  but so far so good.  I would hate it if I became water logged what about poor little Brian?

Yes Joan and I have loads in common and she is such a comfort to Me as she seems to recognise all the emotions I experience.  Thank God for this forum,

Take care Brian

Lovely to hear from you

Hugs

Beryl xxxxx

Hello my dear friend Beryl

I am glad you have managed to find some suitable food for the cats, I hope they continue to like their Felix food and not turn their noses up after a few weeks. As I mentioned Poppy is still loving the Morrison's own make cat food - as long as I get her the Pate variety anyway!

Has the decorator started your room yet? I totally understand how you feel about not really caring if you get the room painted or not. Yes it is another conicidence Beryl that your room got added in 2006 like our conservatory. I am waiting for the better weather so that I can give the conservatory a good clean, the white plastic needs a good spruce up. I bought two new cushions from Dunelm the other week for the conservatory, they look nice and bright but I'm sure the sun will fade them soon enough.

It must be lonely for you Beryl with most of your friends being up north, I live up north myself, but have been here all my life so have friends from my childhood days and right through my working life. But I have no family myself, apart from my sister and her family, so I do tend to rely on my friends for company. I have now got used to spending a big amount of time on my own, but it was just terrible at first and I often wished that I would die too, the loneliness was so deep. I gradually got used to my life as it is today but there are still things I can't face doing that Doug and I used to do together. We loved watching our music DVD's on a Saturday night, and this house was always full of music, whether it was the radio or CD's, there was always music. Now it's silent. And I think I would struggle to go to the places that Doug and I used to visit, like the Greek islands. I would love to go back but am so afraid that all my memories would make me sad rather than happy.

I hope you enjoyed your cooking session the other day and managed to make some tasty meals for yourself. I do that too, yesterday I made a pan of chilli-con-carne and divided it up for the freezer and tonight I am going to cook mince and freeze some of that too.

Take care Beryl and hope to hear from you soon.

Love and hugs

Joan

xxxx

Hello Beryl I realy hope you are doing ok  I havnt been online for a while I have been struggling with the loss of my darling Tony I dont seem to be able to move on and on the 5th Feb it will be a year since he passed away in my arms and it seems like yesterday I miss him so much its so hard and hurts so much  I am having some counciling now so hope it helps Rusty my lovely greyhound takes me out twice a day we stop and talk to people but then its home to loneliness again .Lets hope Spring is around the corner and we can get out into the garden lots of tidying to be done .I feel it helps to talk to someone who has been through the same thing the loss of the loveof our lifes   your David and my Tony ,sorry to have moaned on  but thankyou for understanding Beryl and hope to chat again soon ,big hugs to you  xSusananne