I'm so sorry for your loss Waves.

I can't begin to imagine how different life must be without your husband by your side and this sense of detachment you're feeling at the moment is completely understandable, and natural, so continue to be kind and understanding to yourself and what you are going through as you try to navigate this very difficult time in your life.

Keeping little routines is a good start and although it may not seem like it right now, this will help you as time goes on. For the moment though, try to stay in the moment and take things one day at a time as thinking too far ahead may become a bit overwhelming.

I hope the information Moderator Lucie shared with you a few months back on coping with grief has helped somewhat but if you are now at the point where you feel you may need further support and advice then it may be worth reaching out to your GP or bereavement support services such as Cruse Bereavement or Sue Ryder. Both of these charities offer over the phone and online support so do get in touch with them when you can if you want to find out more.

Our members know just how difficult and challenging life can be when losing a loved one to cancer, so you are not alone Waves, and I hope it won't be long until some of them stop by to offer their support and advice.

In the meantime, our thoughts are with you and we will always be here for you when you need us.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you Steph

Dear Waves,

I have been tied up with my own husband's ailments for the past 6 months and hadn't noticed that you'd lost your husband - my sincere sympathy for your loss. You were so involved with his care that you must be finding life very difficult without him. We don't always realise how bereft we feel at first, as there are so many things to be dealt with and we get through all the necessary arrangements like an automaton. Life may well feel lonely and meaningless at present, but this is not what your husband wanted for you. There are a number of different stages of grief and we all come to terms with it in our own time.

You may not feel like doing anything now, but you will eventually and you will find a "new normal" in the knowledge that this is what he wanted you to do. It sounds as if you are doing the right thing by keeping your little routines going. In time you will begin to feel more capable and start to rebuild your life, but you cannot rush this. If you haven't already spoken to a bereavement counsellor as Steph suggested, you might find this helpful.

Please remember that we are always here for you too. So many of us here have experienced the loss of a loved one and we are always here to help you to find your feet again.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx