I lost my husband just over 3 months ago to Cancer. to begin with I went through the motions - Will, admin, arranging my husbands funeral. I thought I was coping. Why does it now feel worse than ever. I miss him so much that I haven't got the words. Don't really know why I am writing this as nothing anyone can say will bring him back. I still keep hoping he will walk through the door and this is all a bad dream. But its not is it. The world is spinning round and I'm an outsider looking in. I don't feel part of things. I've lost my normal. To think I have all the years ahead without him is unbearable. I try to keep little routines, I know I have to go on. He wanted me to enjoy life but it all feels meaning less.