Hi Waves, 

I am so sorry for your loss - it's all so raw still for you and I wanted to send you our sincere condolences on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. There is nothing quite like the pain of losing your soulmate and it sounds like he was an amazing person who made you happy so the emptiness must be so hard to bear. Night time is often when it all gets too much and you release everything and feel the need to cry. I hope that you manage to sleep ok though and if you see that it's all getting too much and too difficult for you, don't hesitate to get in touch with your GP as sometimes you need a little bit of help and support to face this incredible pain and to find ways to get gradually better. 

What you are going through is indeed part of the grieving process but as you say it doesn't make it any easier to bear. There is a useful page on our website on coping with grief which describes the complex range of feelings you might go through during the grieving process and it's important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and I hope that you have some good support around you at the moment to help you get through the darkest moments. 

This is also a time when you are having to deal with lots of practical issues and making all these arrangements, sorting things out when you would just like some quite moments to rest and breathe a little. I just wanted you to know we are all here for you and many members of our community know exactly how you are feeling having themselves experienced such a great loss. So I hope they will be along shortly with comforting words and to offer their support and guidance. 

Our thoughts are with you and your loved ones during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator