Hello Sweetwoman41

I'm so very sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Mum. Undoubtedly, this has been a very difficult time and it's understandable that you've been experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions. 

I think from what you've shared in your post that what you're experiencing is a very natural part of the grief process that I'm sure others will be able to identify with. It might help to have a look at the information on the Cruse website about growing around grief. If you feel at any point that it might be helpful to get some bereavement support, you can access help through charities such as Cruse, Marie Curie and Maggie's. 

If it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling then you're welcome to continue posting here in the Cancer Chat community, Stweetwoman41. We're here for you. 

Thinking of you all at this difficult time. 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi all yesterday 8th july would have been my mums 69th birthday so I happily visited her final resting place and spoke to her as I laid flowers at her grave.

Smooth Radio and the UK climate is something my mum knows all about from listening to me express my views on life.

Often I think about my mum when listening to Smooth Radio as she enjoyed it very much, when I was a child I had a close bond with her I got toys and day trips to theme parks for doing well at school along with my younger brother. My mum and I went shopping together, dancing together at weekends in pubs and bars with my friends, she was a great person to be around and always wanted what was best for me when I lived with both my parents at home until I moved out in 2024. I had no idea she was poorly until she died in May after being admitted to palliative care in hospital after my dad found her after she fell downstairs very weak from the cancer was admitted to hospital for a few weeks of treatment and sadly never came home, passing away peacefully. I have visited her burial site and left her flowers on her 69th Birthday 3 weeks ago, I often feel her presence in my life from heaven which is really good. But I'd wish for above all a hug from my mum or to hear her talking to me in person about our lives. My dad now lives alone in their house in Stockport which is fine and is trying to get a new kitchen finished off in their house which would be excellent as they deserve a great kitchen. In 6 weeks I will be spending a couple of days with my dad August bank holiday this year on a train trip to Great Yarmouth and Norwich in my mum's absence I know she would want me to go and enjoy myself. I am also going to inherit some personal items she owned in their house from my dad which are just not been used anymore e.g porcelian dolls, jewellery etc 

I also wish those who thought well enough of my mum and know where she is buried would just remember her and go and visit her once in a while without being prompted by me.

Hi Sweetwoman41

I'm sorry to read about your mum and the struggles and emotions you are having since her sad passing.

I can assure you the feelings you are having are a normal part of losing a loved one.  Certain things still trigger me and my mum passed in 2011, a certain song, a smell of my mums perfume, a type of flower she loved, however instead of making me cry as I remember her passing, these things now make me smile as I remember her living.

Even after all these years I would give anything for a hug from my mum, there are just some things in life that can't be replaced.  However knowing that I got to spend so much time with her, laughing, dancing, crying, even being told off as a kid brings me comfort.

I can only imagine how hard it was finding out about her illness when you did, my mums battles went on for over a year, my Dads 7 weeks. I could list pros and cons for having a long or short time to get used it, however i find it doesn't help.  Just remember all the things that make you smile about your mum. 

There is no right or wrong way to deal with your grief and it will change over time, plus it will differ from others in the family. 

Stay strong and take care

Kym x