Hello,

You are not alone and I am in the exact same position as you. I lost my dad 5 months ago to cancer, my dad died within a month of being rediagnosed and unfortunately due to how quick it spread we didn’t get any support from the hospital or team, we weren’t even told he was on end of life, and he didn’t even end up on a hospice and unfortunately died on a general ward. 

my friends are too young to experience parent loss and I feel as if they pretend it didn’t happen. As if it makes them that uncomfortable that they don’t want to even bring it up, but it’s our reality. 

I cry all the time as I can’t get my head around the fact I will never see my dad again, and also I feel like I’m waiting, I don’t know what I’m waiting for.

i also go to private counselling as a space to talk.

Hello,

You are not alone and I am in the exact same position as you. I lost my dad 5 months ago to cancer, my dad died within a month of being rediagnosed and unfortunately due to how quick it spread we didn’t get any support from the hospital or team, we weren’t even told he was on end of life, and he didn’t even end up on a hospice and unfortunately died on a general ward. 

my friends are too young to experience parent loss and I feel as if they pretend it didn’t happen. As if it makes them that uncomfortable that they don’t want to even bring it up, but it’s our reality. 

I cry all the time as I can’t get my head around the fact I will never see my dad again, and also I feel like I’m waiting, I don’t know what I’m waiting for.

i also go to private counselling as a space to talk.

Hello, 

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. It sounds like his passing happened very quickly with no time to even start to come to terms with his rediagnosis. 

I completely understand what you say about your friends almost seeming to pretend it didn't happen. I feel like at our age people are very wrapped up in their lives and often don't even know how to relate to people who have suffered huge loss because they ca't even begin to fathom what it is like. I also feel like as time goes by after the loss, people stop checking in or even acknowledging that we still are grieving every day. 

It is great you are going to private counselling , I hope you are finding it helpful

Hi Katei, 

I am 33 and lost my Dad to prostate cancer in July.

I can relate to what you and LuciaM are saying. I am also the first person in my immediate friendship group to lose a parent. 
My other friends have children, I dont. There is a big part of me that struggles to come to terms with the fact they he won't see any children I might have.

During his diagnosis and his end of life journey, the only thing that was keeping me together was being strong for my Mam and Sister. Since his passing my grief is complicated - with a lot of time spent in the yearning and anger stage. There is also still a part of me that is in denial about his passing. It hurts like mad talking about him in past test, and knowing I'll never hear his voice live and kiss his forehead chokes me up. 

People say with grief you have to ride through it, no matter how tough the storm. But I'm angry that I have to ride through it, why should I? Why me? Why him? Why us?