Dear Katecharlotte, 

i’m so sorry to hear that you suffered such a loss. Grief can be very difficult to deal withn and the first thing that you must remember is that it’s not unusual for it to take years for someone to deal with a loss. On a positive note, it’s great yhat you have been able to reach out and share the way that you’re feeling.  I’m sure that the chat moderators will be able to signpost you to good sources of support, but in the meantime, please remember that we’re hear to listen and  understand.

Thank you for the comment i really appreciate it.

thank you for your chat i really appreciate it.

Hello katecharlotte, 

I am so sorry for your loss at such a young age - you were so young at the time when your mum passed away and it's bound to have been a traumatic experience for you. It's a shame that these support groups you attended didn't help but it was a good idea to try them. It sounds like you may be experiencing what is often called prolonged grief (also called complicated grief) and you can find out more on this on the NHS page on getting help for grief after bereavement or loss. Given how long you have been feeling this way, it does mention on the NHS site that it is worth seeing your GP who will I am sure be able to help you. Another great source of support is the Cruse Bereavement site and they have valuable information on complicated grief including a page on complicated grief in children and young people like yourself. 

As Janjan3 rightly said, coping with grief is by no means easy and it can take years; there is no right or wrong way to grieve but I think given what you went through at such a young age and how deep a mark it has understandably left in you, losing your mum at only 5 years old, do get in touch with your GP to talk things through and seek help. They are used to dealing with situations like yours and will be able to provide the help you need to help you feel gradually better.

I will echo Janjan3's words - we are here to listen and sometimes it helps to talk to others here who understand better than anyone what you are going through because they have themselves been through something similar. 

Keep strong katecharlotte and pick up the phone to ring your surgery (or get the adult you live with to do so for you) and talk to your GP about how you have been feeling for so many years.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Losing someone at any age is hard but losing your mum at such a young age just be so difficult to go through. I'm guessing there will be a sense of missing out on so many things that you're probably seeing your friends getting to experience with their mothers and stuff like that. I think alot of people thing it makes it easier when people are so young but your grief is just as valid as anybody else's.

I'm sure your mum would be so proud of how you've dealt with everything. I hope as time passes that things get easier for you.