Hi all

My dad passed away last week, and we are arranging the funeral. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 5 months now, we are quite committed. He told me he would of course be coming to the funeral if I wanted him there (which I do).

My mum and brother requested he doesn’t sit at the front with us during the service, which I was at first a bit taken aback by but it does make sense, they only want close family at the front - so I respected this, and told him. He didn’t take it well at all and got a bit upset and quiet. I told him I want to respect her&my brother’s wishes.

This came up again yesterday when I mentioned me, mum and my brother would travel in a car behind the hearse to the funeral, and he said he ‘feels like a bit of a spare part in all this’ and is put out by having to arrive alone & sit with my friends instead of me. I have told him again and again he can join me straight after the service and all throughout the wake, but that I just want to respect my family’s wishes at the service.

I’m honestly livid - I feel like he’s making this important day all about himself, and all I want to do on the day is celebrate my dad. He’s upset that I haven’t acknowledged his feelings enough and have been unkind in responding to his concerns. Can I get second opinions as to whether this is fair, or would you agree he needs to understand that this just isn’t about him?