Hello Johnboy1986, 

I am so sorry for your loss. It's so sad your youngest son cannot remember his grandad and you yourself were rather young when he passed away and it must have been a truly traumatic experience. You've come to the right place to talk to others who have also lost a loved one and who know how painful it can be. Our website has useful information on coping with grief and it mentions that "some people drink more alcohol than usual" and it is a way "to numb the pain" but "this might slow your recovery and cause new problems". It sounds like you really don't want to drink so much and I would therefore encourage you to get in touch with your GP about the prolonged grief you are experiencing as well as the drinking issues as the two might need to be addressed together and it could be beneficial for you to consider some grief counselling. You seem to have a loving family by your side and the fact that you have come here and that you have had the courage - and it isn't easy - to open up about it is a very important step towards recovery. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and it sometimes takes a long time to feel a little better but do reach out to your GP as I am sure they will be able to help you and point you in the right direction. 

You are not alone and I will now let others who have experienced the same struggles after the loss of a loved one come and say hello and share their story with you. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Johnboy1986, 

I am so sorry for your loss. It's so sad your youngest son cannot remember his grandad and you yourself were rather young when he passed away and it must have been a truly traumatic experience. You've come to the right place to talk to others who have also lost a loved one and who know how painful it can be. Our website has useful information on coping with grief and it mentions that "some people drink more alcohol than usual" and it is a way "to numb the pain" but "this might slow your recovery and cause new problems". It sounds like you really don't want to drink so much and I would therefore encourage you to get in touch with your GP about the prolonged grief you are experiencing as well as the drinking issues as the two might need to be addressed together and it could be beneficial for you to consider some grief counselling. You seem to have a loving family by your side and the fact that you have come here and that you have had the courage - and it isn't easy - to open up about it is a very important step towards recovery. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and it sometimes takes a long time to feel a little better but do reach out to your GP as I am sure they will be able to help you and point you in the right direction. 

You are not alone and I will now let others who have experienced the same struggles after the loss of a loved one come and say hello and share their story with you. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator