Are there any local charities or groups for elderly people where you live? Maybe you can try and get your mum to visit or take part. 

is there a local carers charity near you? They are pretty good for advice and support.

also, make the most of your time with your mum. You’ll only have regrets when she’s gone. My dad died last week from bowel cancer and I’m struggling. 

see it as a blessing that your mum is living with you and the grand kids. All the beautiful memories you and kids are making. Take vids, pics, go out or just do stuff at home etc. Your brothers are losing out on so much. Cherish everyday you have with her. When she’s gone you can look back and see you did your best. 

If I’m honest I haven’t looked into charities it is somthing I would look into I think it would just do her some good to socialise I no my brothers are loosing out it’s there loss it’s just difficult because somedays I wouldn’t mind just locking myself in a room on my day off and just having a cry if I’m honest but again I feel bad I no I shouldn’t because I need to grieve for my dad but I feel like I have to be the strong one for my mum and the kids 

If I’m honest I haven’t looked into charities it is somthing I would look into I think it would just do her some good to socialise I no my brothers are loosing out it’s there loss it’s just difficult because somedays I wouldn’t mind just locking myself in a room on my day off and just having a cry if I’m honest but again I feel bad I no I shouldn’t because I need to grieve for my dad but I feel like I have to be the strong one for my mum and the kids 

Rely on whatever support you can get. Maybe even your mums GP? If your mum is elderly sometimes they can refer you to day care to help you. We had carers coming in weekly to help relieve the pressure a bit. They don’t tell you what support there is you literally have to ask. 

if you need to cry. Just cry. Nothing wrong with it. It’s a total natural emotion.

My mum is only 67 so she doesn’t need carers she’s pretty independent well she was till dad passed and she’s just so down now I do try to help but I am struggling myself also my teenager is struggling and keeps everything bottled up and doesn’t like talking about my dad as it’s to upsetting my kids seen him daily the thing is I work at that gp surgery mum is registered at what makes it difficult mum has said she doesn’t want to go to the gp and be put on medication because she doesn’t need to thank you for your reply and advice 

It’s a very difficult situation. I understand how you feel. It’s ntural to want some time to yourself in your home. I’m sorry that I don’t have any advice. I’m afraid that I’m not managing a similar situation very well. But please realise that you are not at fault for feeling this way x

Thank you it’s hard not to feel guilty for wanting my own time 

also I feel for my husband to because we are quiet newly married 2 children and our all off our lives have changed dramatically I feel I can’t plan any family days or trips anymore because I have to consider my mum now as well and being her along I just feel like *** about the whole situation 

I know exactly how you feel, 5 years of my parents’ illhealth have meant that we haven’t taken a family holiday and I feel guilty as 5 years is a long time in my 3 children’s young lives. 
But all we can do is take things a day at a time and look for the best bits of every day xxx