I am sorry about your loss, it's hard for you, it is hard for your mum and though you might be snowed under at the moment with work, hobbies, kids and the rest - your mum really needs you at the moment and she is feeling very vulnerable - I suppose my suggestion is going to be how about getting hold of your two brothers and going 'listen lads, how about lending a hand here?' and get them involved because I am sure they love their mum and want to talk to her about dad and losing him and working through their grief together. Is that possible? Because it would be a shame if the answer is 'no' but talk to them and tell them what you have said on here 'I want to help mum and I am doing my best but she needs you two for support as well'.

I am sorry I cannot be any more help than that but I hope they hear the call and come to your aid soon, take care. 

I am sorry about your loss, it's hard for you, it is hard for your mum and though you might be snowed under at the moment with work, hobbies, kids and the rest - your mum really needs you at the moment and she is feeling very vulnerable - I suppose my suggestion is going to be how about getting hold of your two brothers and going 'listen lads, how about lending a hand here?' and get them involved because I am sure they love their mum and want to talk to her about dad and losing him and working through their grief together. Is that possible? Because it would be a shame if the answer is 'no' but talk to them and tell them what you have said on here 'I want to help mum and I am doing my best but she needs you two for support as well'.

I am sorry I cannot be any more help than that but I hope they hear the call and come to your aid soon, take care. 

Thanks for taking time to read this and for the reply 

I really wish it was possible for me to reach out to the brothers but if I’m honest they are pretty selfish I don’t want nothing to do with them now bdays have passed Christmas etc and not even a text message my mum has tried to call them no answer or reply not even a happy Mother’s Day   they said some horrible things when dad was dieing like o it’s your fault blaming my mum for his condition etc and how we should have noticed this signs we did and this is why we keep going back and forth to the gp but they wouldn’t no this because they were never around one lives abroad the other lives 3 hours away they have never been there to support them even when dad was well and healthy always had excuses even the sister in law came out with a comment saying well she’s big enough to fend for herself and she’s the mother what I had to really bite my tongue about I said to my brother we all have partner for support mum has no one she needs us she’s been there for our whole life now it’s out turn to be there for her his response was well she’s the mother 

I am sorry to hear of their attitude. I know such attitudes exist though and if they won't answer calls and texts from their own grieving mother then - I don't know - I am just sorry for you and your mother that you are on the receiving end of this and I hope, and I am sure with time, it will resolve itself, take care.