Hi

Welcome to the forum, so sorry that you have recently lost your mum.  I lost mine to cancer at the end of last year.  I think that in some cases, when you are dealing with a loved ones diagnosis and on going problems with progression of the illness, there is a gradual acceptance and grieving in anticipation.  I know when my mum died, she had deteriorated so quickly and was in so much pain in the end, that I was just feeling relief that she was no longer suffering.  That feeling carried me through the funeral as well, although the funeral just didnt feel real at all to me anyway.  It was only when my dad and I picked up her ashes, that it really hit me that she has gone.

At night, I still sometimes start getting upset at how she suffered at the end (she was at home with my dad and I looking after her, the palliative care system didnt work very well in our case, and she was in more pain than she should have been!), but I just put that out of my mind and think of good memories of her and am just glad that she is now longer suffering.

All you can do is go with whatever feelings you are feeling at a particular time, there is no right or wrong way to do it, everyones journey with grief and acceptance is individual.  Just know that your mum loved you and knew how much you loved her in return, she is now at peace.

Take care of yourself

A

Hi

Welcome to the forum, so sorry that you have recently lost your mum.  I lost mine to cancer at the end of last year.  I think that in some cases, when you are dealing with a loved ones diagnosis and on going problems with progression of the illness, there is a gradual acceptance and grieving in anticipation.  I know when my mum died, she had deteriorated so quickly and was in so much pain in the end, that I was just feeling relief that she was no longer suffering.  That feeling carried me through the funeral as well, although the funeral just didnt feel real at all to me anyway.  It was only when my dad and I picked up her ashes, that it really hit me that she has gone.

At night, I still sometimes start getting upset at how she suffered at the end (she was at home with my dad and I looking after her, the palliative care system didnt work very well in our case, and she was in more pain than she should have been!), but I just put that out of my mind and think of good memories of her and am just glad that she is now longer suffering.

All you can do is go with whatever feelings you are feeling at a particular time, there is no right or wrong way to do it, everyones journey with grief and acceptance is individual.  Just know that your mum loved you and knew how much you loved her in return, she is now at peace.

Take care of yourself

A