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I miss my mum so much

Aimee_111
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Not really sure where to start as I have never written on here before but here goes. 
My mum passed away on the 8th may 2023 in a hospice with all her immediate family around, it was like she waited for us all to be there. She battled for two and a half half years with primary lung cancer and secondary in the brain, she fought so hard and never complained, she was a true fighter.

I'm 35 years old and pregnant with my second child my first being 14 years old, and I have no idea how to cope with losing my mum, she was my best friend and we did everything together. I've had a month off work and I still feel completely numb, one minute it feels like I'm okay the next it just hits me like omg my mums not here anymore and just burst into tears. 
 

Has anyone been through similar to me, if so how do you even carry on with life when you are grieving so much, the pain is the worst pain in the world. 
Any help would be greatly appreciated, 

thank you xx

 

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    Hi Aimee,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your mum, you have my deepest condolences and I share your grief. I lost my mum on the 17 January 2023 and I don't even know how we are already in the month of May?
     

    We found out my mum had bile duct cancer in 2020 and like your mum she battled so hard to stay with us. My mum had multiple surgies and chemo over those years and the strength she showed me is how I survive each day. 

    I am 31 years old and take each day as it comes and try my best to be kind to myself. My mum was my best friend too and eveything she had taught me I continue to do in her memory. We used to spending Sundays cooking and having girly chats in the kitchen, did you do something similar? I know it can't be easy being pregnant and going through this emotional rollercoaster; the love of your children will give you the strength to carry on. Take the time you need to be off work and if you can't take it day by day then take it hour by hour. Grief is not linear, it appears in the sad times as well as the happy times.  

    You are doing amazing Heart️ 

    Sarah xx 

     

  • Offline in reply to Smiless29

    Hi smiless29

    So sorry about your mum passing too, it's the worst illness ever and the sooner they find a cure the better. Like you say the courage and strength that our mums gave us helps us carry on through life somehow.

    And yes the same as you we used to cook together, she taught me everything I know about cooking and she made the best cakes (not that I do lol) we used to go on girly shopping trips and she was my go too about everything in life, now that part of me feels empty. I just wish I could pop round there for a cuppa and talk about my day .

    One minute I think I'm okay the next it just hits you that your never going to see her again and it hurts so much. 
    thank you so much for your message 

    Aimee x

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    Hi Aimee, I lost my mum after a diagnosis of 6 weeks before she died, it’s the worst feeling in the world, I haven’t been back to work yet and she died in March, I have had days where I have cried and cried and days where I’ve felt ok , just take each day as it comes, there’s no right or wrong feeling . I think to myself that my mum would want to be carry on with my life and not want to be so upset and cry every day. 

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    Hi,

    I lost my mum last year, she was 57. I was 36. 

    similarly she was also my best friend, my rock, the only person in the world I trusted. 

    Everyone always says it, but it’s true, that you eventually learn to live with the loss. You don’t ever get over it, but you come to terms with it. The grief still comes in waves though, the loss is too big for your brain to process so it allows it in one piece at a time. Or that’s what I’ve found anyway.

    In the early days all I did was relive her last days, which was distressing but as time has gone on I do now remember more of the happier memories.

    Im very sorry for your loss. 

  • Offline in reply to Djangofan

    That’s so true, I never thought of it like that but the grief probably is too overwhelming to process all at once, Thankyou for your advice 

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