Almost been a month since I lost my mum, I'm struggling

I lost my mum on the 21st of February 2023 I was with her as she took her last breath lost her to sarcoma cancer with mothers day and her birthday coming up I don't know what to do I feel so lost without her I not eating sleeping and I don't want to even go outside can't deal with people saying there sorry about my mums lost just wish I had her with me x

Parents
  • Hi

    i lost my Mum in 2014 and I still miss her, especially now that I have an incurable cancer and I feel she was the person in my life who knew me and loved me the most. It's so recent and I think you are in thst stage where the experience is so raw the edges of the wound have not even begin to heal. How do you think you should be feeling? Thst awful word 'should'. People are sorry, they are sorry you are so distressed and they are sorry that you are suffering and they are sorry that they cannot do more. Let friemds and family support you - sorry is just a word but behind it people are caring and you need to feel cared for. Please try not to push people away, not dealing with daily stuff will not make any of the awfulness of your loss any less real. Your Mum loved you and when I feel sad I will try and take a little while to sit quietly and think about spending time with your Mum, try and feel her presence and allow yourself some comfort from a more positive memory.  Your grief will change as you become more able to manage your distress and you are able to manage your relationship without the physical presence of your Mum.  When people go to another place the love you share does not disappear but it becomes more subtle - you are going to get a better understanding and you must have friemds and people who care for you to assist you getttimg there, 

Reply
  • Hi

    i lost my Mum in 2014 and I still miss her, especially now that I have an incurable cancer and I feel she was the person in my life who knew me and loved me the most. It's so recent and I think you are in thst stage where the experience is so raw the edges of the wound have not even begin to heal. How do you think you should be feeling? Thst awful word 'should'. People are sorry, they are sorry you are so distressed and they are sorry that you are suffering and they are sorry that they cannot do more. Let friemds and family support you - sorry is just a word but behind it people are caring and you need to feel cared for. Please try not to push people away, not dealing with daily stuff will not make any of the awfulness of your loss any less real. Your Mum loved you and when I feel sad I will try and take a little while to sit quietly and think about spending time with your Mum, try and feel her presence and allow yourself some comfort from a more positive memory.  Your grief will change as you become more able to manage your distress and you are able to manage your relationship without the physical presence of your Mum.  When people go to another place the love you share does not disappear but it becomes more subtle - you are going to get a better understanding and you must have friemds and people who care for you to assist you getttimg there, 

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