Cancer Research UK main site

Almost been a month since I lost my mum, I'm struggling

Saraman
Offline

I lost my mum on the 21st of February 2023 I was with her as she took her last breath lost her to sarcoma cancer with mothers day and her birthday coming up I don't know what to do I feel so lost without her I not eating sleeping and I don't want to even go outside can't deal with people saying there sorry about my mums lost just wish I had her with me x

  • Offline

    I'm sorry about your mum I lost my mum  just over 12 months ago and I will be honest with you it gets harder to deal with before it gets better I am 58 and feel like a child again missing my mum I'm totally lost without her but I know deep down she's at piece and out of pain and that's what we want right it doesn't matter how young or old you are your mum is your mum right . Maybe counselling will help you or if you don't feel you can do that family members maybe you can talk to no easy answers but please remember your mum wouldn't want you not eating or looking after yourself you must take care of yourself I have drunk and eaten a lot throughout my grief and it isn't the answer it doesn't make you feel any better trust me . I'm here if you need to talk to someone that's not family x

  • Offline

    Hello , I also lost my mum on the 21st February 2023 I completely understand your pain .In October 2022 Mum went for an ultrasound as she had been having a pain when she coughed ,then a ct scan a week later which showed gallbladder cancer that had spread to her liver and lining of her stomach.Finding out my mum was terminal was devastating . Me and my sisters were in complete shock that's when I feel our grieving began .Our Mum as always been there she was our best friend We looked after Mum took time off work had amazing memories there were ups and downs along the way .Our lovely Amazing Mum went downhill fast ,I always told Mum I want you to have a peaceful Death and constantly told the pallative care nurse my wishes for Mum , it wasn't to be Mum was agitated after the syringe driver was put in place . This torments me seeing my mum not being able to breathe I am having councilling through pallative care and taking one day at a time .My heart goes out to you your mums spirit will always be with you I do truly believe this so please get councilling and take one day at a time x

    Sending hugs your way you are not alone  

  • Offline

    Hi

    i lost my Mum in 2014 and I still miss her, especially now that I have an incurable cancer and I feel she was the person in my life who knew me and loved me the most. It's so recent and I think you are in thst stage where the experience is so raw the edges of the wound have not even begin to heal. How do you think you should be feeling? Thst awful word 'should'. People are sorry, they are sorry you are so distressed and they are sorry that you are suffering and they are sorry that they cannot do more. Let friemds and family support you - sorry is just a word but behind it people are caring and you need to feel cared for. Please try not to push people away, not dealing with daily stuff will not make any of the awfulness of your loss any less real. Your Mum loved you and when I feel sad I will try and take a little while to sit quietly and think about spending time with your Mum, try and feel her presence and allow yourself some comfort from a more positive memory.  Your grief will change as you become more able to manage your distress and you are able to manage your relationship without the physical presence of your Mum.  When people go to another place the love you share does not disappear but it becomes more subtle - you are going to get a better understanding and you must have friemds and people who care for you to assist you getttimg there, 

  • Offline

    It's so sad, I lost my dear mum on 23 feb. Struggling to believe, that's it then, she's gone. Was so intense the weeks leading up to it then all of a sudden she's gone. 
     

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.