Sending hugs and I can feel your pain. My Dad passed on 25/01/23. 9 days ago. It's like a pain I've never felt. Some days I rnt cried. Today it's hit me again and I'm sad and down again. It's like a rollarcoaster . Up and down all time. 

Hi Oreotrio

ive been following some of your postS on here and wanted to reach out to you. My Dad passed on 19/1 and it's his funeral on Friday- over 4 weeks after his passing. 
he was diagnosed on 28th dec and given 6-12 months but his decline was really rapid and he only lasted 23 days after diagnosis. 
he was my absolute world and I am utterly devastated. 
I don't have anything to say to you that can make it better but I wanted to let you know that I'm with you- I know how you feel xxx

Hi Jo  thank you for your reply . Sorry for your loss. Everyone keeps saying they will feel better after funeral. Which is on Monday 20th Feb. I'm not so sure. Just feel like that just finalises it. It's awful isn't it . Like life will never be the same again. Feel abandoned and empty most of the time. Time also . Time is suppose to heal. Keep telling myself everyone goes through this so must get over it . Hard to see how . Even with my own family sat with me. I feel alone. 

Hi Jo  thank you for your reply . Sorry for your loss. Everyone keeps saying they will feel better after funeral. Which is on Monday 20th Feb. I'm not so sure. Just feel like that just finalises it. It's awful isn't it . Like life will never be the same again. Feel abandoned and empty most of the time. Time also . Time is suppose to heal. Keep telling myself everyone goes through this so must get over it . Hard to see how . Even with my own family sat with me. I feel alone. 

I know these feelings. Really well. Feel free to message me at any point xx

I just don't know how people get through this . it's like I want to fast forward time. 

Allow me to share a poem with you that some one shared with me. Apologies If you aren't into this kind of stuff but I related to it x

THE LOSS OF A FATHER

Is the anchor pulled from the seabed 
the steering wheel unhinged
the mast split by lightning 
and the bow broken by storm.

The ship that you sailed 
until now 
feels unsafe 
no longer weather-proof 
and without direction 
or brave heart 
to speed its way.

Perhaps you did not even know 
that he was your compass 
that you gazed upon his lead 
like a North-star in the night.

He gave you all of this 
you see 
without notice or congratulation 
diligently 
consistently
continuously guiding 
always showing the way 
in the way he knew how.

And whilst you are cast adrift
I know this to be true
you will anchor yourself once more my friend 
when you realise 
that his voice still speaks 
still guides 
still brings brave heart your way 
in the roughest of storms .

And the answers you seek 
he already planted deep 
within your heart 
for he knew one day 

you would need to sail alone.

So he buried little pieces of himself 
within your heart 
your mind 
your spirit 
and your soul 

little breadcrumbs of love 
to show the way 

forevermore.

Donna Ashworth
 

Awe Jo.  That is so meaningful and hopefully one day I will feel strength from my dad . Xx

Xxxx

Just a little update from me. 
it was my beloved Dad's funeral yesterday. It was the most perfect send off for him and I honestly could not have wished for it to go any better. It broke my heart but I found the strength to read out a poem I'd written while sat by his bed at the hospice. The turn out was incredible. We had to have a TV And sound system outside. It just showed me how loved my Dad was by everyone who met him. I was so touched that these people wanted to pay their respects and say goodbye. 
 

also, I did decide to go to the chapel of rest. Single most hardest thing I've ever done. It didn't look like my Dad at all but he looked so peaceful and pain free. He looked so very smart too x  I'm glad I went however I did advise my Mum not too as I don't think she would have coped. 
 

I feel a sense of relief today. Like I know he is finally at rest and peace. The 4 week limbo I've felt I was in has left and for me it's confirmed that he's now free.xxx 

Hi Jo,  glad your dad at peace now and your out of limbo land. 

Hope tomorrow goes as well as it can for you xxx

Thank you Jo. Be glad when it's over. 

Hi Jo ,,cant believe its dad's funeral this afternoon.  Doesn't feel real. Feel sick .  Cant believe it's 4 weeks on Wednesday since we lost him. Got to get through today ...