Cancer Research UK main site

My husband died suddenly

katy23
Offline

Hi, My husband (42) died on 1st December and i'm struggling to come to terms with it all. He was a very fit healthy man and was never poorly. We have 2 kids and got married only 4 months ago. he had a blood clot in his leg and 2 weeks later he was diagnosed with metastatic cancer (primarily bowel and moved to 50% of his liver, 1 lung and some lymph nodes). He was given 3 years to live but he died within 4 weeks of diagnosis The Dr's said they had only seen one case like this before where the cancer was so aggressive. I am still in total shock and i don't know how i am meant to do this? i'm broken and part of me wishes i could die too which i know sounds terrible as i have 2 children to look after and get through losing their daddy. I know i need to go on for them, but knowing my future will be without my husband  leaves me hollow and scared. 

  • Offline

    So sorry to read this, a huge shock for you and your family. It's very early days and your grieving, losing a loved one through any circumstances is terrible. But losing your husband so suddenly must feel absolutely unbearable.

    This isn't something you can go through alone, there are many bereavement organisations you can contact online. And some excellent ones for families, I don't know how old your children are, but if they are of an age to understand, they will probably be hurting too. Definitely worth speaking to someone on this site, I'm sure they will have a bereavement counsellor.

    Nothing can bring your husband back, but in time your pain will be come bearable. You will never forget him, but will learn to live without him and it seems very dark at the moment, in time the light will shine again.

    Wishing you and your family all the best for the future xx

  • Hi katy23,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I just wanted to send a reply to say I'm very sorry to hear of what you have been through. We are always here for support if you need it, and I hope that the forum can be helpful for you. You've already received a reply and hopefully you will get more as I'm sure there will be others here with similar experience or who understand.

    If you feel you're struggling and would like some extra support, have a look at Cruse. They have various resources and a helpline, as well as information about people to speak to.

    I can only imagine how difficult things must be at the moment - do take care of yourself and take things a day, or an hour, at a time. And as I say, we're always here if you need it.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    Hi

    i am so sorry and l understand how you feel l lost my wonderful husband my soulmate in October nearly 11weeks ago he was diagnosed and died within 24 da ys it took 12 days to find signet cell adenocarcioma gastric cancer the doctor told us it shows no symptoms until your stage4 and it's fatal he died 12days later we were together 40 years and married 38 years l was 18 and l got married at 19 and a half he was my life and l was his nothing ever prepares you for the loss and your left with just a complete emptiness and sadness l myself am starting grief and bereavement counselling if you need to talk l am hereK l think only someone that's going through it can only understand the deep feelings of loss and all the should have been.,know in all the moments and all of everyday ache and sadness l am with you and l get it saying a prayer for both of us today.

    Sandra.xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.