Hi Purpleplant,

I am sorry about your loss, the loss of a mother is a huge loss and changes your life forever.

I lost my mum three months ago and it has been a hard and horrible loss. I was abroad when my mum was dying and was too late to say goodbye when I flew home from China (with covid, lockdown, borders closing and my elderly parents had their covid bubble) I wasn't able to see them for three years. All of it has been very very hard.

I was lucky in the sense that my mum had a good life and lived to a reasonable age and she did a lot of things and went to a lot of places. I was 50 when she left us. She told me (via Skype) to live my life and be happy and I felt it was important that I listened to her and respect her wishes as her eldest child.

Your loss is far worse than mine as I did have a long time with mum and it is about my age when you lose your parents - middle aged people have to prepare themselves mentally for the prospective loss of your parents - I have been preparing for this loss for the past ten years but I didn't think it would be cancer that took her, she never drank or smoked and always went to bed at the same time (10 pm) nothing to suggest that she would get lung cancer but that is what took her in the end and it is just ***.

How I make sense of it is this, in thirty years, I won't be here myself. I am 50 now and nothing in this life is permanent. Loss is a part of life and my mother experienced the loss of her parents thousands of miles away from her home country but she carried on to live her life, some hard times but mostly happy ones and I now believe she has reuntied with our family who have gone before her and who she dearly missed whilst she was here and most importantly, she is cancer free. I believe she is still here with us but in a different realm 'behind the door' as it were and I speak to her daily and I certinly don't feel alone - which helps.

Your loss is a hard one Purpleplant and I am sorry to hear about your loss and I am wishing you strength for the future. 

Hi Purpleplant,

I am sorry about your loss, the loss of a mother is a huge loss and changes your life forever.

I lost my mum three months ago and it has been a hard and horrible loss. I was abroad when my mum was dying and was too late to say goodbye when I flew home from China (with covid, lockdown, borders closing and my elderly parents had their covid bubble) I wasn't able to see them for three years. All of it has been very very hard.

I was lucky in the sense that my mum had a good life and lived to a reasonable age and she did a lot of things and went to a lot of places. I was 50 when she left us. She told me (via Skype) to live my life and be happy and I felt it was important that I listened to her and respect her wishes as her eldest child.

Your loss is far worse than mine as I did have a long time with mum and it is about my age when you lose your parents - middle aged people have to prepare themselves mentally for the prospective loss of your parents - I have been preparing for this loss for the past ten years but I didn't think it would be cancer that took her, she never drank or smoked and always went to bed at the same time (10 pm) nothing to suggest that she would get lung cancer but that is what took her in the end and it is just ***.

How I make sense of it is this, in thirty years, I won't be here myself. I am 50 now and nothing in this life is permanent. Loss is a part of life and my mother experienced the loss of her parents thousands of miles away from her home country but she carried on to live her life, some hard times but mostly happy ones and I now believe she has reuntied with our family who have gone before her and who she dearly missed whilst she was here and most importantly, she is cancer free. I believe she is still here with us but in a different realm 'behind the door' as it were and I speak to her daily and I certinly don't feel alone - which helps.

Your loss is a hard one Purpleplant and I am sorry to hear about your loss and I am wishing you strength for the future.