I lost my wonderful mum yesterday morning. She was still young and I'm only 20. I feel so robbed and angry that basically most people my age still have their mum. I sometimes have these thoughts that everything will be ok and it won't be that painful (must be denial thoughts). Then sometimes it hits me again how devastating this really is. I was so so close with my mum. Closer than one could imagine a mother and daughter to be. It's only been a day, but I have constant waves of utter sadness. It hurts knowing I'll never be able to call her again, no one ever cared as much as she did. It's good being with the family and laughing about memories. I know it will be very long before I process this and find the good in it, part of me believes I'll never be able to do that, or ever see the light in life. It hurts because she didn't deserve this, the kindest sweetest woman.
