Hello Lobkevde

Im so sorry for your loss of your lovely Mum. She sounds like a wonderful woman and what an amazing thing her writing the blog. I'm sure it'll be such a help to others going through breast cancer. 
 

I lost my Mum to bladder cancer in December so I'm a bit further down the line of grief although to be honest sometimes it feels that no time at all has passed. It can be incredibly overwhelming.  
 

I've found that getting out for a walk everyday has been helpful. Also speaking to trusted close friends. I've listened a lot to the Griefcast podcast which is all about grief and loss and has definitely helped me feel less alone as I don't have any friends who have lost a parent so it can be hard to find people to relate to. I also write in a wee journal sometimes just whatever comes in to my head - memories of my Mum, how I've been feeling. Just to get it out of my head and down on paper can be quite helpful. 
 

I've found bereavement counselling has been massively helpful. The hospice my Mum was in offered this but I know that the Maggies centre and other charities can offer sessions if you have one of those anywhere near you. It can be quite daunting but talking can be so helpful to getting all those things you might not want to say to friends or family out. 
Cruse bereavement website can also be helpful as well, I found this idea quite comforting - 
www.cruse.org.uk/.../ that you don't have to 'get over' your loss but in time life will grow around it. 

Just try and be kind to yourself, and remember that your feelings and emotions are all normal. Sometimes you might feel sad, angry, panicked, overwhelmed and then at times you might laugh and smile! Grief I've found isn't linear. It can go back and forth, up and down and at times you can feel like your going crazy but you do get more used to those feelings as time goes on. 7 months on and I can recognise more when I'm feeling a certain way and need some space or if I need to go and have a good cry. Just give yourself time and space as you process your loss. 

Apologies this has turned into quite a long message. I hope it helps and happy to message anytime. 

Look after yourself 

Kat x

Take care 
 

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my message, it means a lot. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum too and I'm glad to hear that you have found some sources for coping. It has only been 2 days but going on a walk in the past 2 days has definitely been helpful and I am too planning to get counselling. I definitely feel I'm in denial at the moment as it is so raw, but hopefully I can start working through my grief. Thanks again for your message and sending you all my love

Hello Lobkevde,

I'm not sure if you are the same person 'susara' that I replied to yesterday as the circumstances of your lovely Mum are identical, it may be your sibling that wrote the other post but I didn't want you to think I had lost the plot by replying again. I just wanted to say how very very sorry I am that you have lost your precious Mum to such an agressive form of cancer and she was so young too which makes it all the more devastating. I just wish I had words that would help you but I know from experience words can support but not really help the pain. Your Mum and how you describe her reminds me of my own amazing Mum. I read your Mum's blog this morning and cried. What an amazingly brave and selfless woman your Mum was and how much she thought of you all and your father. Your Mum worried about others even when she was suffering herself which is exactly what my Mum did, we were so blessed to have such wonderful Mums. There were so many points in your Mum's blogs that made me stop and think, by writing this blog her words will help others going through similar. What I also found inspiring about your Mum was how despite her own fears and situation she still tried to find positives and keep realistic, she truly sounds such a courageous wonderful woman. I found witnessing my own Mum go through two cancers over 4 years just how brave she was, I already knew she was brave but honestly witnessing everything she went through and all the devastating results that different medical specialists gave her (not always with any compassion) astounded me. I miss her so much I can feel the pain in my heart daily. Its early early days for you and your family, find comfort in supporting each other through this, we are all here for you too.

Jane

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond and thank you so much for taking the time to read through her blogs, she would've loved that so much and it means a lot! She always put us first despite her circumstances and I'll always be grateful for that. Yep susara is my sister and we both decided to make a post on here for advice! You're mum also sounded like such a lovely person and I'm sorry to hear about her passing, witnessing her during every stage of her cancer must have been really hard and I can sympthasie with that after experiencing it too. Once again thank you for reading my mums blogs I know she would've appreciated it and thinking of you and your mum too. Sending you all my love X