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Lost Mum to Pancreatic cancer, struggling with grief

Phil-73
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We lost my beautiful 71 year old Mum 4 weeks ago to pancreatic cancer. It was around 18 months after the initial diagnosis. We had the funeral yesterday where we did her proud. She was a lovely, kind lady, who was our rock. I'm not sure where the last 4 weeks have gone - in a blur of tears mainly. I did not realise how hard it would be to lose your Mum, even though we were pretty much prepared for it. We watched her struggle in the last day and that's one thing I can't get out of my head. I now have a longing for the past and can't see how I'll ever look forward to anything without Mum there. Does it get any better?

Thanks fior listening

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    Hello Phil.  So sorry you have lost your Mum.  I nursed my Mum when she was dying of cancer 25 years ago (I was still quite young when she died) and what I can tell you is this:  You don't 'get over' it, but somehow you learn to live with it.  That awful, raw pain eventually eases in to a sort of acceptance, and yes, you will enjoy life again, but when we lose our Mother, there is a void left in our hearts that can never be filled.  Basically, you will always miss her, but like I said, you learn to live wth it.  The mother-child bond is so strong that when our Mothers die, it is almost like a part of ourselves has died (and maybe it has), but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and it's kind of like the phoenix rising from the ashes.  Once again Phil, so sorry for your loss, and I truly do know how you are feeling, Violet, x

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    Hello Phil.  So sorry you have lost your Mum.  I nursed my Mum when she was dying of cancer 25 years ago (I was still quite young when she died) and what I can tell you is this:  You don't 'get over' it, but somehow you learn to live with it.  That awful, raw pain eventually eases in to a sort of acceptance, and yes, you will enjoy life again, but when we lose our Mother, there is a void left in our hearts that can never be filled.  Basically, you will always miss her, but like I said, you learn to live wth it.  The mother-child bond is so strong that when our Mothers die, it is almost like a part of ourselves has died (and maybe it has), but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and it's kind of like the phoenix rising from the ashes.  Once again Phil, so sorry for your loss, and I truly do know how you are feeling, Violet, x

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