Hi Andrew I'm so sorry to hear your post and so sorry for your loss. My mum too died of lung cancer and she too meant the world to me. I had my own place just 10 minutes from her in London and yet spent all my time with her as she was my world. My mum was displaying memory problems to begin with which she refused to have investigated and when I raised concern with GP he could not get involved as my mum declined consent.  I might also add she was a bit of home drinker  though in denial  as would say its just to help me sleep which as newly retired from a very hectic job sort of made sense .At best he would write to her asking for routine bloods to be done and mum in her wisdom would have them done after stooping drinking for 4 weeks (so was cute in that respect) Any ways concerns over her actions negated me to give up my job (with no regrets) and be more proactive with investigations.  As an x Social Worker I was sort of on board that mum had Mild Dementia so when result came through it was sad but sort of relief and I settled into being her carer. Alas some months on she had a bad attack of shingles that was really bad and GP wanted chest x rays and alas stage 4 lung cancer my mum dies 6 months later . Mum had given instruction to her GP for non disclosure prior to diagnosis of Dementia so it was very guarded and smoke an mirrors with absolute prognosis but it all boded bad and incidences made sense. Like you I have two siblings but I was closest to my mum and things have become soured. Now  mums affairs are settled and I am blessed that unlike your poor mum my mum died peacefully and aware of her passing and acknowledged my prescence and was pain free most of her final months and at home where she wanted to be. TWO years on I still feel empty my self esteem and confidence is rock bottom . I have a partner yet still feel lonely now living in Hampshire. I spend all my time thinking how happy i felt when mum was well and alive and never felt lonely . She was so active and like your mum looked and acted alot younger indeed she had a social life that put mine to shame. I know no one will knock on my door to ignite more of a social life or try to meet new people and its down to me but its so hard. everything seems to be virtual reality support or long waiting lists for grief counselling so you feel stuck in a vacuum . Support groups are fine but they really dont give you human interaction and tahts were system fails. Even trying to do a sting of volunteer work at CAB envoked web chat on line solutions as people did not want to come in so that defeated my objective. I could re register as a social worker but having worked with elderly where you could not even provide the level of care required (due to budget and costantly validating need as if they were your actual parent) my heart is not in it. If I could of taken this bullet for my mum I would of I just want you to know your not alone and perhaps as a male you ve given me inner strength of how grief can affect us males and wear our hearts on our sleeves. If ever you want to message me please do I coukd do with some like minded friends as it is a bloomin hard journey  Love and light Davidr  

Hi Andrew I'm so sorry to hear your post and so sorry for your loss. My mum too died of lung cancer and she too meant the world to me. I had my own place just 10 minutes from her in London and yet spent all my time with her as she was my world. My mum was displaying memory problems to begin with which she refused to have investigated and when I raised concern with GP he could not get involved as my mum declined consent.  I might also add she was a bit of home drinker  though in denial  as would say its just to help me sleep which as newly retired from a very hectic job sort of made sense .At best he would write to her asking for routine bloods to be done and mum in her wisdom would have them done after stooping drinking for 4 weeks (so was cute in that respect) Any ways concerns over her actions negated me to give up my job (with no regrets) and be more proactive with investigations.  As an x Social Worker I was sort of on board that mum had Mild Dementia so when result came through it was sad but sort of relief and I settled into being her carer. Alas some months on she had a bad attack of shingles that was really bad and GP wanted chest x rays and alas stage 4 lung cancer my mum dies 6 months later . Mum had given instruction to her GP for non disclosure prior to diagnosis of Dementia so it was very guarded and smoke an mirrors with absolute prognosis but it all boded bad and incidences made sense. Like you I have two siblings but I was closest to my mum and things have become soured. Now  mums affairs are settled and I am blessed that unlike your poor mum my mum died peacefully and aware of her passing and acknowledged my prescence and was pain free most of her final months and at home where she wanted to be. TWO years on I still feel empty my self esteem and confidence is rock bottom . I have a partner yet still feel lonely now living in Hampshire. I spend all my time thinking how happy i felt when mum was well and alive and never felt lonely . She was so active and like your mum looked and acted alot younger indeed she had a social life that put mine to shame. I know no one will knock on my door to ignite more of a social life or try to meet new people and its down to me but its so hard. everything seems to be virtual reality support or long waiting lists for grief counselling so you feel stuck in a vacuum . Support groups are fine but they really dont give you human interaction and tahts were system fails. Even trying to do a sting of volunteer work at CAB envoked web chat on line solutions as people did not want to come in so that defeated my objective. I could re register as a social worker but having worked with elderly where you could not even provide the level of care required (due to budget and costantly validating need as if they were your actual parent) my heart is not in it. If I could of taken this bullet for my mum I would of I just want you to know your not alone and perhaps as a male you ve given me inner strength of how grief can affect us males and wear our hearts on our sleeves. If ever you want to message me please do I coukd do with some like minded friends as it is a bloomin hard journey  Love and light Davidr