Dad recently died and I just can’t believe it

My Dad was only given months to live but passed after a short number of weeks. I can't get my head round the fact he's gone. I keep going over our recent conversations, him holding my hand and hugging me, his hopes and plans for the future. I keep getting urges to ring or text him and then it hits me that I can't. I keep getting the usual "he's at peace now" and "he'd not want you to cry" but that's making my angry for some reason. I just wish it was a dream and I'll wake up :(

  • Hi,

    Just read your message and had to reply. I am so so so sorry for your Dad passing away. I can't know what your going through right now because I am blessed to still have both my parents but I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. My Mum has just been diagnosed with lung cancer (Incurable) still waiting on appointment with Oncologist but all I have thought of since her diagnosis is how I will ever keep going when she is gone (which is so selfish I know because she is still here but its made me face the reality of losing her). I live with my Mum, have done for 7 years now and before that we worked together for 10 years, she is my best friend, my everything. I can imagine the way you are now thinking, wanting to call him, hear his voice and knowing you can't. It is something that I have asked myself 100 times recently "How do we ever accept/get through the pain of never seeing again the people we love so much?" and I have no answers because I know the pain can't just disappear. If we deeply love someone the pain is ever greater when they are gone. But how blessed are we to have had someone so special in our lives that we have these wonderful loving memories and love in our hearts for them all our life. I guess what I'm trying to say is some people never know what it is like to love and be loved by someone that deeply. I know that won't help you or take away your pain and I wish I could help you, I really do. I know people have said it has to be a day by day getting through, there is no other way but just try to get through one day at a time, the pain can't be rushed over. Hold onto those precious memories and the love between you in your heart and know your Dad wants the best for you always. I can completely understand you feeling emotions like anger, its a normal feeling when you are going through bereavement. You don't want you Dad 'at peace now' you want him home with you again, thats understandable completely. People mean well but often their comments hit to our hearts. I'm here if you ever need a rant or a chat. take good care of yourself.

    Jane

  • Hi Lost

    My Dad died after 3 months of diagnosis. He was my best friend, hero, parent and all round good man. 
    The trauma of what you have seen and felt will never go away and never be understood by anyone but you. On the other hand, you are blessed. Not everyone gets to have the precious memories, fun times and easy chats with a parent that lasts a lifetime. With great love is a great loss. Be sad and be grateful. 
    You will meet again and you can tell him all your news of all the adventures you had whilst waiting. 

    Jx 
     

  • I'm so sorry. My daddy died two months ago. I can't even believe I am typing out that sentence. It doesn't seem real. He was everything to me.  I am the same thinking I'll just ring or FaceTime him as I used to twice a day every day. We were very close.

    I know it's a cliche but try to remember the good times and the happy memories.   I talk out loud to my daddy every night to tell him about my day and it does help a little bit.  
     

    I know how you feel and I'm so sorry   Feel free to DM if you want to x x 

  • Hi chrissy

    Just read your post and I'm there with you....my dad passed last August but its still painful,  and still talking to him on my walk each morning with the dog ,  I ask him to send a white bird to answer my questions as feeling of despair overcome me sometimes. 

    Knowing that he's listening and watching over us helps , and being thankful that I had such a wonderful dad, my mum is struggling with mental illness as well as bereavement.... you need to be strong and make best of life.

    Brighter days are ahead I'm sure