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First Christmas without my mum, finding it overwhelming

Sunshine561
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Hey all

I just wanted to say I've found this forum such a help in what has been an incredibly difficult time with my mum passing away quite suddenly after a short diagnosis of cancer in march.

While some days I am finding a little bit easier than others, I'm finding the Christmas period really difficult. It will be the first one in my 30 years of being on the planet, without her. 

The biggest thing I am finding difficult is just not being able to understand other people. Everything they say is wrong and I find myself just not replying. We have decided to go away to a different part of the country to just not do the same thing as we usually do as we would find that difficult but I am often asked 'are you excited about your trip' and 'what a lovely trip, I'm sure you will have a wonderful time'. Sorry, my mum passed away and you're treating this I'm going on a holiday? I just wanted t see if anyone else has experienced this at all? I just feel like I am constantly withdrawing from people as they just don't get it and is just making me feel so isolated which just then makes me feel like I miss my mum even more :(

If anyone has any advice, I'd be so grateful. x

 

 

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  • Hello Sunshine561

    I'm sorry to hear that you lost your Mum earlier this year. How you've described feeling in your post is very natural and a part of the grieving process. Events such as Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries can bring up a whole range of feelings and thoughts, and whilst things are very fresh for you, others may speak without thinking. Whilst it's not necessarily done with any ill intent, it's natural that you feel you don't want to engage with others who don't understand. 

    I hope that some of our members who are also facing Christmas without a loved one will post to share their experiences. You may also want to have a little look at this article on the Cruse website about coping with grief at Christmas. 

    In the meantime, be kind to yourself Sunshine561. Take things a day at a time and allow yourself to do and feel what you need to over the coming weeks. 

    Thinking of you at this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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  • Hello Sunshine561

    I'm sorry to hear that you lost your Mum earlier this year. How you've described feeling in your post is very natural and a part of the grieving process. Events such as Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries can bring up a whole range of feelings and thoughts, and whilst things are very fresh for you, others may speak without thinking. Whilst it's not necessarily done with any ill intent, it's natural that you feel you don't want to engage with others who don't understand. 

    I hope that some of our members who are also facing Christmas without a loved one will post to share their experiences. You may also want to have a little look at this article on the Cruse website about coping with grief at Christmas. 

    In the meantime, be kind to yourself Sunshine561. Take things a day at a time and allow yourself to do and feel what you need to over the coming weeks. 

    Thinking of you at this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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