Hi and welcome to the forum the club nobody wants to join.  So sorry your husband is making things really hard for you. You don't say if he's mobile or what's wrong with him, or treatment.

i think most people on the forum would tell him to sort his own friends meals out,(plenty of phone up services on the go) .or if he is mobile do it himself. It sounds like he's just being awkward on purpose,alot of cancer patients get this way.

I've got prostate cancer gone to lymph nodes spine ribs pelvis and a lung,I was diagnosed Feb 2016 .its classed as palative care,no cure continues treatment and I'm a carer for my wife she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's plus other brain problems so it can be full time care.

We have carers in three times a day ( 1/2 hour) to do her meals and wash her,so I get a rest and its someone else to talk to.  I retired at 67to look after her I'd been working part time since diagnosed (metal fabrication and welding firm) but kept going for 3 years till she kept falling over and couldn't get up, she had sos button to call me. Only 5 minutes from home.

Hope you can get something sorted out soon so you can relax a bit.

Hopefully others will join you soon and give you other ideas.

Take care keep positive and keep safe.

Billy

Thank you for your reply, Billy, much appreciated. I'm really sorry to hear about your condition, and having to care about your wife as well.

He's stage 1 myeloma, completely mobile apart from being banned from lifting anything heavy, undergoing chemo which so far he's coped with really well with. He's in his late 40s and we're both still working full-time from home.

I don't know, I've given up everything to care for him. I'm shielding, I get absolutely no support from his family (nobody has even visited yet), everything is my responsibility and mine only. 

It couldn't be more obvious that I'm having a burnout, I have been vocal about it but he doesn't - or anybody else - seem to care. I'm expected to go on and on and on until I drop.

Hi you definitely want to put your foot down and get him to do some of the house things so you can have an easier time, and definitely don't do anything if he invites his mates around without talking to you first,. tell him about it first and if he ignores it, just leave him to it.

Im fairly sure alot of people will agree with me, I'll send a call to [@Chris S]‍  see what she thinks.

You don't want to make yourself ill if he's not going to help you, maybe go out somewhere and do a bit of shopping for yourself, let him manage on his own,if he moans just ignore him or go out again till he learns that your not a slave and he needs to do things himself,as you say hes mobile just no heavy lifting still leaves plenty of things he can do.

Take care keep positive.

Billy

Hi you definitely want to put your foot down and get him to do some of the house things so you can have an easier time, and definitely don't do anything if he invites his mates around without talking to you first,. tell him about it first and if he ignores it, just leave him to it.

Im fairly sure alot of people will agree with me, I'll send a call to [@Chris S]‍  see what she thinks.

You don't want to make yourself ill if he's not going to help you, maybe go out somewhere and do a bit of shopping for yourself, let him manage on his own,if he moans just ignore him or go out again till he learns that your not a slave and he needs to do things himself,as you say hes mobile just no heavy lifting still leaves plenty of things he can do.

Take care keep positive.

Billy