My father was diagnosed with cancer nearly 2 years ago,  and he is now entering the final stages. My husband and I were living on the other side of the world and had already decided to move back a year ago before we found out he was terminal. We agreed to live in his home country in Europe but with the pandemic and the change in dad's prognosis I asked if we could spend this last year in the UK to be near him and move to his country after. For context we met here in UK and he had lived half his life here. He refused and said he wanted to be around his own friends. Normally I would stay here and let him go for a year but we are about to start fertility treatment, I'm nearly 40 and so it can't be delayed.

I have been back home for the past 3 months as Dad has got very weak and disabled and it seems to be nearing the end. My husband has not come with me and everytime I speak to him it's as though he is waiting to start an arguement. He says I am away too long and he feels like he is missing out in our relationship. He recently travelled to see his sister and now wants to travel again to see his Mum. I did not have a problem with him doing that, although I did feel somewhat abandoned. He spent all last summer with his Mum and left me to see Dad by myself. We only saw each other last summer because I agreed to take a break amd spend a few weeks with him over there.

I have isolate when I get back before the fertility clinic and he was angry that it means he will only get 3 weeks at his mums place (she lives by the beach and he wants to snorkel for the summer). I can't help but feel he is being incredibly selfish and really quite hurtful. He knows my sister who is also my best friend is now being investigated for cancer herself which she does not want to tell my parents about. I have been having panic attacks and when I let him know he says I am too over emotional and its too much for him. I feel really awful, on one hand I feel I should leave him on the other I don't want to make any rash decisions, which would also mean accepting not having a child, while I am so emotionally charged. 

I guess I don't really know what I am asking, matbe just reassurance that he is being unreasonable and I am not asking too much.