Hello my love, i can remember this feeling very well,, everyone grieves differently their is no rule book or self help , we do it our own ways, my grieving also happend when he was still  alive, its very hard, because you want to be helping them and comforting them and their family, i felt like even tho i was the closest person to him being his wife , i had to make sure other family members were ok, even tho i slept next o my dying husband and woke next to him, hearing all his breathing i  still had to get up and be ok and grieve silently ,, i promise you, you will be ok love, not now but in the future   this is your very last thing as the closest person to your love one you can do for them, much respect for you love xxxxxx

Hi  

Thankyou for your reply. 

I'm so sorry for you and your husband.

It is so difficult I feel like I'm in a nightmare.Every morning the second I wake up I cry.

My husband sleeps in the spare room he's choice he feels me comfortable there. 

I do feel like I have lost the man I married it's heart breaking I'm trying to be strong for him and rest if family. I feel really lonely when he first got diagnosed everyone was in touch all the time now it feels like we on our own.

I know there's not much my family can do.

I'm so scared of what the future hold I don't even want to think what life would be like without him after 23 years together we have stuck together through really bad times my mental health diagnoses he was the only one at the beginning that understood. So it's my turn to pay him back for that.

I wish I could take it away from him if only aday. He's 3rd cycle has been presponed for the 2nd time he's just not well he's off the chemo now.

We thought he would have felt even abit better but he feels worse.

So we waiting for the scan to show what's going on we hope it's good news it will make all the pain worth it.

Thank you again for taking time to send me a reassuring message I know now that what I'm feeling is normal 

You take care 

Marie x

Hi  

Thankyou for your reply. 

I'm so sorry for you and your husband.

It is so difficult I feel like I'm in a nightmare.Every morning the second I wake up I cry.

My husband sleeps in the spare room he's choice he feels me comfortable there. 

I do feel like I have lost the man I married it's heart breaking I'm trying to be strong for him and rest if family. I feel really lonely when he first got diagnosed everyone was in touch all the time now it feels like we on our own.

I know there's not much my family can do.

I'm so scared of what the future hold I don't even want to think what life would be like without him after 23 years together we have stuck together through really bad times my mental health diagnoses he was the only one at the beginning that understood. So it's my turn to pay him back for that.

I wish I could take it away from him if only aday. He's 3rd cycle has been presponed for the 2nd time he's just not well he's off the chemo now.

We thought he would have felt even abit better but he feels worse.

So we waiting for the scan to show what's going on we hope it's good news it will make all the pain worth it.

Thank you again for taking time to send me a reassuring message I know now that what I'm feeling is normal 

You take care 

Marie x