Hey Busby,

Im sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. The turn around and how fast things can happen is absolutely awful! Cancer is such an unforgiving disease. 
I can relate to what your saying about grieving for someone who is still here. I too am having a really hard time coping with the news of a terminal diagnosis of a loved one. I have spoken to numerous people on this board who have been lovely and really understanding. I also found speaking to Macmillan has really helped me. You can be feeling grief before a passing, it's all part of the process. It's so hard and I really send you and your husband love. Know that what your feeling is normal and you are not alone x

Good morning both 

365 days ago we were told by husband 58yrs old would have 3 to 6 months without treatment,  but he was able to have a chemo / immunotherapy combination to control it. We were told this morning that the cancer has now grown so he will start chemo again and a targeted pill instead of immunotherapy 

The first 3 months were a whirlwind. Wills updated, power of attorney completed,  bank accounts all made joint, house money explained, you name it we organised it. 

The treatment went well until today. But I have been grieving since last February and now I feel odd as when the inevitable happens will I all be grieved out? Will I seem cold and hard ?  My dad died of alzheimers in 2014 and I don't think I've cried once.  We lost dad before he died, but will I feel the same when Pete goes?

It is So hard. I don't deal with stress at all well now. I broke down on a friends driveway over new kitchen worktops of all things!!

I don't think there is a correct way to feel, butmof you want a private rant feel free to message me, although there is no one on the forum that would blame or judge you.

Keep strong

Snoopy,

Im sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. The fact he is still here and fighting a year on is incredible. I can't imagine what a tough year it's been for you both. 
I can completely understand and relate to what your saying about grieving, I myself have had those same thoughts, but then other days I find myself completely flooded by emotion and feel like the process is starting all over again. 
Greif comes in all sorts of shapes and forms, and there's no right or wrong way to express that greif. After speaking to Macmillan I have realised it's possible to grieve over a loved one who is still here with us, especially after a terminal diagnosis. 
Take each day as it comes, and I hope you get many more days with your husband. Take care x

Snoopy,

Im sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. The fact he is still here and fighting a year on is incredible. I can't imagine what a tough year it's been for you both. 
I can completely understand and relate to what your saying about grieving, I myself have had those same thoughts, but then other days I find myself completely flooded by emotion and feel like the process is starting all over again. 
Greif comes in all sorts of shapes and forms, and there's no right or wrong way to express that greif. After speaking to Macmillan I have realised it's possible to grieve over a loved one who is still here with us, especially after a terminal diagnosis. 
Take each day as it comes, and I hope you get many more days with your husband. Take care x