Losing a parent to terminal cancer

Hi thankyou for allowing me to join your group. My Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer in July last year which had already spread to his lungs, kidneys and lymph nodes. Dad always said , he wouldn’t want to now if he was dying so he is unaware of his diagnosis. We were told that he probably only had three to six months left but we are in our eighth month. Two weeks ago he began having fits and after a CT scan we were told he has three tumours on his brain. He doesn’t appear to be in pain. I come from a large family and have a rota so someone is always there to help Mum. He is very confused and deteriorating by the day and some members of my family are really not dealing with things right now. I am holding it together but do have the occasional melt down,  I am scared of how  I am going to cope when the inevitable happens. Many thanks xxx

  • Hi there .. and welcome ..

    Your not alone, so many are going through this heartbraking time right now .. but the one good thing is he's not in pain.. you must be doing something right, to hold that off .. and my, he's a trooper to push his time further then they thought ...

    Please don't hold emotions in .. I think I'm really strong for me, but soon as my son was being tested, I had a two day melt down ... it's harder when it's someone you love and there's nothing you can do ... but holding feelings in helps no one .. don't be strong for others .. you all need to SHARE feelings .. then you can help your dad on his last journey ... it's not about being strong... it's about feeling scared but still doing what you have to ... that's being brave ... l lost both my parents in my 30s. . So know just how hard it is .. sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie x

     

  • Hi Chris’s thankyou so much for your advice , it really helped. It’s just so hard staying strong for everyone else. Dad is a real trooper and has shocked us all, we didn’t expect him to be here for Christmas but we have been very fortunate  although we know it was his last one. It’s just horrible seeing him wasting away before our eyes. He only weighs about four stone and is yellow in colour. As I said he isn’t aware of his diagnosis and I believe if he was, he wouldn’t be with us now . Many thanks xxx

  • You will cope, you will get through this. 

    My dad was diagnosed in August last year and we have had one knock down after another until finally now there is nothing to be positive about. 

    It is torture watching him so low, feel unwell, exhausted and just not the positive spark we know. 

    I cry and cry, some days good, some days bad, but I know deep down as much as I don’t think I am going to get through whatever the future holds that it is not possible to cry every single day forever. 

    Keep strong, be brave and concentrate on the now rather than what might and might not happen because right now he is here xx