Tilly, this is a huge decision for you - not one you can change when your mum is no longer here. 

It's a sad fact of life that not many of us leave this world looking and acting as we did in our prime. Do you wonder how your mum will feel if she carries on seeing these people your dad brings to visit, some of whom you say she doesn't even like, but she doesn't see her daughter.  How will she feel and, more importantly, how will you feel.  We don't get second chances very often so do what is right for your mum.  I don't have too long left and the thought that any of my children couldnt bear to be with me at the end breaks my heart.

I realise we are all different, but I have never regretted being with my loved ones at the end, with a kiss and a whispered 'I love you'.  

I hope, Tilly, you have made the right decision. With my best wishes. x

Hi Tilly I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Each of us makes our own choices , I believe, based on what we think will be best and I hope you come to a decision about how to manage this difficult situation that works for you. I am not sure other people can guide you but what I would say is I lost my mum in similar circumstances a little while ago now and one of the great comforts for me has been that my sister and I were there, as mum wanted, throughout her last days and whilst I do have some vivid memories I have found them to be comforting. Wishing you comfort in whatever you decide. X

Hi Pauline and California, thank you for your advice. After thinking and stressing lots and speaking to close friends and the nursing staff looking after mum I've decided to stay with the last memory I have of mum and not to be there when she dies. Everyday dad says she gets worse and he has my brother there for support who wasn't as close to mum and a doctor. My children are very low at the moment and I feel I need to be close to them as they too are struggling. We have spent most of their school holiday travelling back and to to hospital as mum is in hospital nearly 200 miles away and each time we visit we go there and back in a day. I I feel sad I won't see mum again but I know I will in the future and she will always be in my heart and memories. We had such a special bond and I know she would want me to do what I feel is right and she always said God will only give you what you can handle and I feel we left at peace the other day. 

Oh, Tilly, bless you, if that is your decision then that is right for you.  We are, indeed, all different and your mum will understand and, I am sure agree.  

I do hope your dear mum will not suffer and you will both be at peace. x 

Hi Pauline4 and Max56. Thank you so much for your lovely comments they made me cry. I feel so relieved that others see how difficult it is as I feel so guilty. I know I have made the right decision for my children as I can see in their lovely little eyes they feel sad and I know they are upset about mum but mostly because I am sad. It's awful being so far away and waiting for that telephone call I've brought all the phones to bed with me! I miss mum more than life already I don't know how we will get through the next days, months, weeks, years and for the rest of our lives. My stomach constantly churns as I can't believe this is happening.  I just hope mum doesn't think I have abandoned her as this is not the case it's more I'm trying to protect my children's little innocent minds and hearts from losing their Nanna and also I couldn't cope to see her die so I'm protecting my memories from losing my wonderful mum.