I really need some advice. My mum is reaching the end of her cancer battle and from my previous posts it's days. I visited mum on New Year's Eve and could see the deterioration. It was lovely to be with mum but very distressing. I didn't know when I thought I wouldn't be able to see mum again but felt I couldn't cope to see mum much worse than this and I know she wouldn't want me to remember her like this as we talked often. The problem I have is my dad thinks I should be with mum when she dies as we were with our Nanna when she died as my dad said it was the right thing to do and we were just young children then I think I was 12 and remember it like it was yesterday and the image has never left me and I'm 40 now! I thought I needed to be honest to dad and tell him my feelings that I didn't want to see my amazing beautiful mum die and could I not be there again . Ive told dad I would come to support dad afterwards he was disgusted at me for this and says I'm horrible. I've not slept all night as although in my mind I feel I've made the right decision I feel really guilty as I know my dad will never forgive me. Also my mum was such a proud person and she wouldn't want people to see her like this and my dad keeps taking his friends in to see mum which I know she would hate some of these friends she didn't even like!
