I'm sure it will be special by you just being there for her.  I'm finding it incredibly difficult.  My Father-in-Law is very ill, dying, and we haven't a timescale.  Could be tomorrow, Christmas Day, NYD....we simply don't know.  He is currently bed ridden in a hospice.  Sleeps for most of the time, and doesn't eat very much at all. The thing is, this is my favourite time of year, and whilst I am there for my husband, 110%...I am still trying to allow us that little bit of normality in our lives.  Yet, I feel incredibly guilty when playing Christmas songs, I have taken to playing them upstairs out of earshot, as I don't want him to think I'm being disrespectful by playing them.  I get excited about Christmas, then the next minute I'm brought back to reality when thinking of the situation and feel awful with myself for feeling joyous under the circumstances.  It sucks!  Just by spending the day with your Mum will mean more to her than anything, of that I am sure x

Hi,

Your post really struck a chord with me. Some years ago my mother was in hospital with terminal cancer at this time of year. One evening while I was there, a group of carol singers came round from a local youth club. My mother loved it even though she was very ill, for she always loved Christmas. It was so hard for me realizing it would be her last Christmas and I really struggled to hold back the tears while they were singing. I realized afterwards, she must have felt exactly the same too and I felt realy guilty for thinking only about myself and not considering how she must have felt.

Probably the best way is to spend as much time with her as you can and to try and put on a brave face though I know how hard it is to do. You obviously love your mother so let her see that by the little things you do for her.

I really do feel for people in your situation. It hard at any time of year but always seems worse at Christmas.

Sending kind thoughts and best wishes to you and your family, Brian.