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Keeping it normal at Christmas

Koopmanclan
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I am really struggling. ...After along few months with my Mum in and out of hospital  ...brain surgery. ...lazer ....We were told the news yesterday it has spread further.  It is so heart breaking to go through so much then be told there is more.   She home now and we have meetings after x.mas to discuss next steps.  But it is sooo hard to be "normal " when we know what is going on under the surface.     I keep trying to pinch my self it is a nightmare as everyone on this forum probably does.     Just so hard.  The pressure of possibly having our last "Christmas " is getting too me. ....how can I make it special ???

Parents
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    I'm sure it will be special by you just being there for her.  I'm finding it incredibly difficult.  My Father-in-Law is very ill, dying, and we haven't a timescale.  Could be tomorrow, Christmas Day, NYD....we simply don't know.  He is currently bed ridden in a hospice.  Sleeps for most of the time, and doesn't eat very much at all. The thing is, this is my favourite time of year, and whilst I am there for my husband, 110%...I am still trying to allow us that little bit of normality in our lives.  Yet, I feel incredibly guilty when playing Christmas songs, I have taken to playing them upstairs out of earshot, as I don't want him to think I'm being disrespectful by playing them.  I get excited about Christmas, then the next minute I'm brought back to reality when thinking of the situation and feel awful with myself for feeling joyous under the circumstances.  It sucks!  Just by spending the day with your Mum will mean more to her than anything, of that I am sure x

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    I'm sure it will be special by you just being there for her.  I'm finding it incredibly difficult.  My Father-in-Law is very ill, dying, and we haven't a timescale.  Could be tomorrow, Christmas Day, NYD....we simply don't know.  He is currently bed ridden in a hospice.  Sleeps for most of the time, and doesn't eat very much at all. The thing is, this is my favourite time of year, and whilst I am there for my husband, 110%...I am still trying to allow us that little bit of normality in our lives.  Yet, I feel incredibly guilty when playing Christmas songs, I have taken to playing them upstairs out of earshot, as I don't want him to think I'm being disrespectful by playing them.  I get excited about Christmas, then the next minute I'm brought back to reality when thinking of the situation and feel awful with myself for feeling joyous under the circumstances.  It sucks!  Just by spending the day with your Mum will mean more to her than anything, of that I am sure x

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