Andy, it is so very difficult because everyone reacts differently.   It would be nice for your dad I am sure, if you could spend some time with him and perhaps just let him know you are there and I am sure your mum would appreciate it too.  If your dad only has a short time you really need to make your peace now as, when he is no longer with you, you may feel sorry that you didnt.

Why don't you plan to make Christmas a good time, with your wife and mum and dad.  Just so you have some good memories for the future.

Hi Pauline , just to let you know we had a great xmas , had a good laugh , opened all the presents together , i think i need to man up a bit xx

Oh, Andy, what great news, I am sure you and all the family feel so much better.  Why should you 'man up', it's your dad and you are entitled to feel emotional.  With best wishes to you and all your family.  Please come back and talk to us. x

Hi there,

I felt compelled to reply to this thread as I recently lost my father to lung cancer which spread to his liver. He also had developed early dementia and suffered with glaucoma. He really suffered and I didn't get the chance to see him. He was estranged from his first family for 17 years so I only learned of his terminal illness after he had passed away. I cannot stress how I regret not being able to know that he was terminally ill and that I could have seen him one last time. I was told that he didn't want anyone to see him in his final days but I would dearly have loved to have had the opportunity. I didn't.

Prior to his funeral, I did visit him in a private viewing at the resting home and at that point I broke down, as it didn't look like my father, lying there in his casket. I know it's a bit stange but my sister took a picture of him and I now look at it several times and it is strangely comforting. What I will end saying is that it's great that you have managed to reach out and try and have this relationship continue with your dad, no matter the quality of the sessions. You'll never regret it and although I wish things were different, they cannot now be changed. While I learned of my father's passing, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer the same week as the funeral, so alot was happening at the same time. (Mammogram,biopsy, ultrasound, diagnosis of DCIS with forthcoming WLE operation in December 2015; of which I am now recovering - awaiting results and next steps).

Cherish the moments that you create and celebrate the life your father and you have had/will continue to have.   

Hi there,

I felt compelled to reply to this thread as I recently lost my father to lung cancer which spread to his liver. He also had developed early dementia and suffered with glaucoma. He really suffered and I didn't get the chance to see him. He was estranged from his first family for 17 years so I only learned of his terminal illness after he had passed away. I cannot stress how I regret not being able to know that he was terminally ill and that I could have seen him one last time. I was told that he didn't want anyone to see him in his final days but I would dearly have loved to have had the opportunity. I didn't.

Prior to his funeral, I did visit him in a private viewing at the resting home and at that point I broke down, as it didn't look like my father, lying there in his casket. I know it's a bit stange but my sister took a picture of him and I now look at it several times and it is strangely comforting. What I will end saying is that it's great that you have managed to reach out and try and have this relationship continue with your dad, no matter the quality of the sessions. You'll never regret it and although I wish things were different, they cannot now be changed. While I learned of my father's passing, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer the same week as the funeral, so alot was happening at the same time. (Mammogram,biopsy, ultrasound, diagnosis of DCIS with forthcoming WLE operation in December 2015; of which I am now recovering - awaiting results and next steps).

Cherish the moments that you create and celebrate the life your father and you have had/will continue to have.