Hello there.

My husband  had bowel cancer two years ago and underwent 2 bowel operations. The cancer then was found in his liver. he had another operation on his liver last January. Sadly, we are going to see the bowel surgeon tomorrow as after tests its looks as if the cancer is back on the bowel and also the liver.. I am terrified. I can not give you any good news as I am unsure of my husbands chances. What I can offer is love, support and prayers. Perhaps we can support each other as it is such a lonely life at present.

Hi there, welcome to the forum, but sorry for the reason you are here. I'll be perfectly honest; your wife's cancer sounds like it is really serious and you seem to have accepted that. I know that the treatment will in all likelihood, prolong her life and for how long no one can be sure. I can understand how concerned you are with the long term prognosis for her. You love her and as her husband you feel responsible for "taking care of her and protecting her", but you can't do the impossible. Of course, you are also concerned for your young children and how you will manage to work and also take care of them. I wish I had a magic wand, but I don't. Your wife is so young to be dealing with such a serious disease. Of course she is optimistic about her future and she is encouraged in this thinking by her friends. Right now she needs to believe that she can beat this. She also is worried about you and her children, as well as herself and maybe right now she just can't think of a time when she won't be around for you and them. As hard as this is for you, you need to let her set the tome for how she views the future outcome of her disease. At some point she may have to face the fact that this is really serious, but if that happens, you need to be there for her and support her through every stage of her illness. Who knows; her outcome may not be as bad as it seems and because she is so young, treatment may be able to keep her alive for a long time to come. I hope you can start to take one day at a time because this cancer thing is a real roller coaster ride for all of us.

I hope you have family and friends around you for support through this difficult journey, not only for your wife, but also for your children and yourself. Come on here to the forum and get support from others in the same or similar situation as you are. It does help to talk with others who are also struggling. All of us are dealing with cancer in some way; either we have it ourselves, or are caring for loved ones with it.

Take care of yourself.

Lorraine    

Hi there, I can really empathise with your situation. My hubby who is in his early forties has advanced stomach cancer.....and he is dealing with it in a similar way to your wife. I so admire his strength and positivity and belief it can be beaten, but it is like he is blinkered in a way and not really hearing what the prognosis is. I'm just so up and down with it all, working, looking after 2 young boys and just generally holding it together. We won't know how well the chemo is going for a few more weeks after his scan, so just getting through each day - existing not really living as such. We are in very challenging and emotional situations but we have to find strength,Les hope we both get some positivity from future scans etc, you just never know - everyone's journey is different. All the best 

Hi Louise

I'm sorry to hear about your husband also. Well my wife was due to have chemo this morning but at tea time yesterday she suddenly had the shakes and her temperature was boiling so we decided it best she goes to a&e and get checked out. They kept her in overnight, ran some tests, gave her fluids etc and was discharged this morning thankfully.

It just shows a small cold can certainly knock them off their feet. It was a bit of a scare really and thats why I feel I must remain cautious as we just never know what is going to happen. Her chemo has now been put back a week. Think it must have been a little bit of a wake up call slightly (without trying to sound harsh). I too admire that she wants to remain positive etc but I at the moment am just so exhausted with it all, I need to get away shortly on my own without sounding selfish.

I work full time and want to remain that way as it keeps my mind occupied, then when I get home and put the tv on, the soaps have got cancer storylines, there are adverts for cancer and to be honest I just don't want to hear about it. Never heard the dreaded 'C' word so much in all my life.

I hope your husbands scan brings you some good news and will no doubt speak again soon.

Take care and sorry for the rant.

Hi, sounds like a very crap day. Indeed even a cold can knock them about. My hubby has had a chest infection for nearly 2 weeks that he can't shake off, side effects of that have been worse than the chemo. Your right at every turn at the minute there is something about cancer, I too am bloody drained and fed up with it!!! It can go do one....      

Mini rant over

Hi Louise15

I know just how you feel darling. When my husband was having his chemo treatment he got one infection after another. I was convinced that it was in his PICC line. I promise you Louise once his chemo stops he will get back to his old self. Chemo is a *** but neccessary..Keep going, he will have gallons of anti biotics but in the end he will get better.

Kind regards

Gillie