Helpless & Angry

My mum has been the best, she has always put me first and done anything and everything to make me happy and to make my life easier. She had cancer last year and we fought through it. But this year it has come back and it's not curable . The doctors have said that having chemo will extend her life to a year. But that isn't long enough. She is in so much pain and I feel helpless as I don't know what I can do. I try and spend all my time with her and only ever go out when I know she has someone with her, such as one of her friends. But I just don't know what to do, I'm doing everything for her as it helps her but makes me feel more like I'm doing something for her but it isn't enough. I've though about raising money for her but what for I don't know as no treatment can sort it out. I just want her to be happy and for it to go away but that isn't going to happen. Any suggestions on things I can do would be appreciated. I'm only 18 and I'm pretty much all she has, and as bad as it sounds I want to go out and have nights out but I feel too guilty to do so and when I have on the off occasion that she has someone with her I feel so guilty. I mean I do have other family but they are not there as much as I am.

Parents
  • What an amazing son you are!   Be proud of what you are doing and what you have done.   Go out and enjoy your nights out, you need those.  I suspect your mother would really want you to have these fun times.   I hope the words of others helps you during this difficult and emotional time.  You are not alone.

  • Hi James,

    I fully agree with the replies you have have and I feel sure your mother is justifieably very proud of you. With regard to your other family members, I would just like to point out it may be they dont know what to say or how to react. Please understand, I am not making excuses for them  but one thing I have learnt in my three years on here, cancer doesnt just affect the patient, it affects the whole family and friends as well. But you should not feel guilty when you do go out for you need to keep some sort of normality in your life. Otherwise the stress will build up to a point where it could affect you.

    It is always painful when someone we love is suffering from this evil disease and it also make us feel inadequate and that we should be doing more. For when we were young, it was our mothers looking after us that made us better and now it's our turn, we feel bad for medically speaking there is little we can do apart from being there for them and supporting them.

    Please come on here as often as you need; it's a great community to belong to for people understand how we feel. Please keep in touch, regards Brian.

Reply
  • Hi James,

    I fully agree with the replies you have have and I feel sure your mother is justifieably very proud of you. With regard to your other family members, I would just like to point out it may be they dont know what to say or how to react. Please understand, I am not making excuses for them  but one thing I have learnt in my three years on here, cancer doesnt just affect the patient, it affects the whole family and friends as well. But you should not feel guilty when you do go out for you need to keep some sort of normality in your life. Otherwise the stress will build up to a point where it could affect you.

    It is always painful when someone we love is suffering from this evil disease and it also make us feel inadequate and that we should be doing more. For when we were young, it was our mothers looking after us that made us better and now it's our turn, we feel bad for medically speaking there is little we can do apart from being there for them and supporting them.

    Please come on here as often as you need; it's a great community to belong to for people understand how we feel. Please keep in touch, regards Brian.

Children
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