Hi serendipityb,

I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through, you certainly do sound a caring sister and of course you want and deserve the best for your brother.  My experience of hospice nurses was good; having lost my Mum and Dad back in 2013 they helped both them and me enormously.  However, like all professions there are always certain people who will "go the extra mile" and are that bit more special; (I luckily found one such hospice nurse who was with me during both my parents illnesses).  I think your hospice nurse is wrong in not intending to get to know your brother, and as difficult as it is for you just now I really think you should try and question why.  People should be treated the same despite their disabilities and if this particular nurse is unable to do that then I think the hospice should be able to offer you an alternative nurse who can.

I know this is a terrible time for you and sometimes it takes all our strength just to face up to our loved one's diagnosis let alone cope with any other problems, however if you can find the strength to challenge the nurse's attitude perhaps you would feel more reassured yourself.  This is of course, just my opinion; wishing you lots of strength,  Hope 

thank you Hope

I live a long way away from my brothers carehome and the hospice but have spoken tot he carehome and they have said they will have another word when she comes again and will be making sure she sees him every time she visits and emphasise that we want her to get to know him, so will see how that goes,

Hi again serendiptyb,

I was glad to read you have spoken to the carehome and hope you are reasurred that they weill be keeping an eye on the hospice visits.  It must be difficult to be living a long way away at this time.  Do let me know how things are going.  Thinking of you.  Hope 

Hi Hope, apparently the nurse visited again recently and went in to see him too which is good.

Hi Hope, apparently the nurse visited again recently and went in to see him too which is good.