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Frog girl
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My dad has lung cancer and was given a few months to live this was back in February . His calculm levels went high about two wks ago a he had to stay in hospital for a night for some treatment ,since his return home he hasn't left the bedroom as he is to weak to get door stairs . We have offered to get him down but he refuses as he is scared of not being able to get back up ,he seems to be getting very depressed won't eat drinks very little and is getting very grumpy with people . Anyone going through the same thing have any tips on making it easier or is this a way of my dad letting go.  L x

 

 

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    Hi Frog girl = our hearts open to you in your personal distress of seeing dad like this = he used to be so different. Now he seems so nervous of having enough energy to even go upstairs. This is very painful for you to go through and we really feel for you. I suppose its dads way of coping = my dad went through something like this with his lung cancer. It was so terrible for us to watch. I wonder if carers could help to get him up and down the stairs? It is hard on you = all I can say is what helped me = I used to go for long walks just to get some fresh air. I used to go out every day rain or shine = even round the block. I have kept this up and today we went for a long walk in the blowey and rainy weather. Very exhilerating and liberating. They say that its easier for the person - and emotionally harder for those who love him/her. I think its true. Keep warm and eat well. Destress every day and make time for special ME TIME and pampering. I am sure dad will become less grumpy with time as he comes to terms with the illness.

    Our huggs are for you at this special time

    all the very best

    Steven xx

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    Hi Frog Girl - is your Dad on stong pain killers my Dad became very grumpy and quick tempered when he was on morphene.  Also when he was in pain he could not cope and used to shout and just wanted to be alone.  In the end I felt that I had already lost my Dad and all I could do for the person that was left was to try and be understanding its very frustrating and sometimes impossible as you want to help.  Try and get some quality time with him when he is up to it even if its watching TV reading the paper or just chatting.

    I agree with brighteyes make sure you have me time.

  • Hi L,

    Sorry to hear of your situation.

    My nan was in the same situation, she became withdrawn and wanted to be alone all the time, she became tired as she was put onto pain killers and stopped eating and drinking. She kept falling over when getting out of bed and so was taken into hospital after a bad fall, she became very weak and was in disconfort so was kept asleep.

    She was in hospital for a week, and woke up every now and then, when she was awake she was not in pain, she was not with it but very relaxed and could hold a conversation. 

    After a week she was moved to a hospice, and kept asleep for most of the time, we were able to sit with her and she looked very peaceful. she passed suddenly, and they did not have time to call us back in time, but we are glad she was so peaceful in the end.

    As others have said try to get some time with him. Its the small things that are remembered. This decease is so terrible.

     

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