That's a tough one.

A large part of me wants to completely agree with Jules and say to respect her wishes and give her some space.

A different but smaller part of me wants to say she may be feeling depressed and needs help in getting out of such a dark space and that at worst just visiting her anyway might be what she needs rather than wants.

 Maybe a compromise would be better? Give her a day or two and then just turn up. If she is obviously relieved to see you you've obviously called it right. If not, don't stay too long just say you needed to see how she was and that you promise you won't stay long. 

When I was very ill I frequently switched in the same day between being too tired and exhausted to stay awake or eat - let alone entertain guests. At other times I was still exhausted but severly bored and in need of company.  

I hope it works out for the best!

Dave

That's a tough one.

A large part of me wants to completely agree with Jules and say to respect her wishes and give her some space.

A different but smaller part of me wants to say she may be feeling depressed and needs help in getting out of such a dark space and that at worst just visiting her anyway might be what she needs rather than wants.

 Maybe a compromise would be better? Give her a day or two and then just turn up. If she is obviously relieved to see you you've obviously called it right. If not, don't stay too long just say you needed to see how she was and that you promise you won't stay long. 

When I was very ill I frequently switched in the same day between being too tired and exhausted to stay awake or eat - let alone entertain guests. At other times I was still exhausted but severly bored and in need of company.  

I hope it works out for the best!

Dave

Thanks Dave.  The thing is she seems to be up to meeting other friends etc for lunch and things like that, it's just me and my brother that she doesn't want to see which is really hurtful. As per my reply to Jules, I think I'm going to go and stay for a few days tonight.  Her blood cell count is low and the doctor says t hat's not helping, so I will try to stay at least until she has another transfusion.

ESM,

Try not to take your Mum's avoiding you and your brother personally - sometimes it is harder to talk to the ones you love than it is with people who aren't so emotionally attached to you. Relative strangers often find it easier to talk about something other than cancer than family, which can be a relief. 

When I was at my worst, the hardest thing to bear was the look of fear and pain in the eyes of my family.
 

Best wishes
Dave