Newbie&not dealing too good.

hey! Im new to this chat thought id come and maybe find it easier hearing from others on this. My mum is 55 she had breast cancer 16/17 years ago and in the past 4years to cancer came back and is in her bones.Its went from her back to her shoulder to her ribs to her hips.Since last April her foot had crack in it&she took herself to get it xrayd due to cancer they referred her onto orthopedics by time she seen them the crack in foot had turned into a chunk wasting away in her foot they debated pinning it but due to cancer and bone wearing away they agreed not to as it would have been too big an op.now her both legs is starting to go from under her.I am struggling so muh seeing her getting worse in front of me&end up taking it out on myself.im strong in front of her but every wee thing i see her getting sorer&slower doing i come away from seeing her worse&cry most days.to top it all off was with her at ono aptment and there is now somethig showing in her bowels which she had to get investigated.at this stage i wouldnt be surprised if it is cancerous as all her bones near her!sorry ranting there.awww just know it gona be worst journey of my life!thanks for your time sorry didnt know what all to write.

Take care.Sinead x

 

  • Hi Sinead,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us - many people on this forum will be able to empathise with your situation. My family and I went through something similar with my Mum, it is a very upsetting situation to have to cope with.

    I'm not good at dealing with emotional stuff online, so I'll stick to the practical side. Is your Mum and your family getting all the financil and practical support she is entitled to?  I had some really good support from our local MacMillan service who got backdated PIP for me from the DWP, which opens up things like a Blue Badge for parking. They also offered my family counselling service as well as visits from the MacMillan nurse. 

     

    Best wishes
    Dave

  • Hey when you say you deal with it practical side, what way do you mean.because i know physically Im doing things i shouldnt but it helps me.

    I do attend counselling through cancer focus but still dont say to much yet to them as getting to know me and i them!as for blus badge bit how would i go about looking into that for her.saying that she starting to drive less due to legs being so sore!She doesnt know i go there to try get everything out i feel like ive given up on her.but il keep giving it a go.Thanks Dace

  • Hi Sinead,

    Sorry for the delayed reply, I'd literally lost the thread.

    I just meant chat with the MacMillan guys and see what services are available - you've probably done that already. Ask them if they have a benefits advice worker - mine processed my PIP application for me when I was on chemo and very unwell. 

    Once PIP or DLA has been sorted you can get a blue badge. You can use it in any car your Mum is a travelling in. Google Blue Badge and your local council's name and it should take you to the right place. e.g. www.warrington.gov.uk/.../4

    Your Mum should be eligible for PIP - if MacMillan can't help locally see www.adviceguide.org.uk/.../pip_special_rules_if_you_are_terminally_ill.htm

    Never feel like you've given up - you are only human and there's only so much we can survive alone. 

    Please keep posting on here :-)
    Dave

    x

     

  • Hi Sinead = poor mum - what a dreadful worry for you all. Do keep posting here so we can help in our way. All you can do is keep focussed on things one day at a time. Yea = we went through that with our mum - although she was never diagnosed or treated. It was found out all too late. Lets hope the doctors get cracking and get this under control. .

    All best wishes and huggies to you all

    Steven xx

  • Hi Sinead = poor mum - what a dreadful worry for you all. Do keep posting here so we can help in our way. All you can do is keep focussed on things one day at a time. Yea = we went through that with our mum - although she was never diagnosed or treated. It was found out all too late. Lets hope the doctors get cracking and get this under control. .

    All best wishes and huggies to you all

    Steven xx

  •  

    Your Mum is in the same position as me with secondary BC and is definitely entitled to Personal Independence Payment.  Dave is right - McMillan will do all the work for you and apply for this but if you want to do it yourself it is a relatively easy thing to do.  Ring 0845 850 3322 to make a claim for PIP. If you tell them that mum has an incurable illness you will not be required to meet anyone or fill in lots of forms because they will do it all for you during your call.  They will ask a few basic questions and ask you to get your GP to fill in a Form DS 1200 (I think thats what its called but they will verify). You then send off the form to the address they give you and hear their decision within a week or so.  The letter you receive will give you details of how to apply for a blue badge.  Hope you get on ok x

  • Hey Dave thanks for advice will defo have to look into it as she just getting worse walking wise.she had full body scan yestrday&few xrays but think something now showing in throat as they picked up something on scan &furthered it getting her to get neck xrayd.she still waiting to get camera done&we shall see what all shows then.--aww just keeps getting harder.

    Thanks for reply.Sinead x

  • Hi Dave

    Another pratical financial point if your Mum paid National Insurance within the last 12 months she would also be entitled to Employment and support alowance (sick pay) Again the Mcmillan's would be able to give advice on this.

    I thought that I would not claim any benefits but I have needed Taxi's to go to hospital for treatment Parking on the days I could drive to appointments had to buy various things like thermometers etc and as my treatment is ongoing and I may need further assistance. 

    Your Mum may need help in her home such as a stair lift or a rise and recline chair which is something we had for my Dad also a personal alarm button which had a monthly fee  (although small) all need paying for.

  • Hey Steven..getting v.hard to focus as every day shes getting slowly worse or something else starting to happen.over wkend there shes had 3 wobbles&near fell,which is start of new things happening.they not really treating hers just trying to slow things down.if u know what i mean..she got bone scan so just hada wait see what it all shows..awww now!one day at a time!x

  • Hey Max56..dont know what she is getting money wise i know she getting something would need to ask her what tho..i think she really could be doing with blue badge as her walking getting worse.we shall wait&see what bone scan shows that she got done on mon.aww will get there just struggling with it all.gotta take it one day at a time!x