Just to let you all know been told she has only a matter of weeks left

Hi Candy

Sorry I am only getting back to you now.  My hours at work have all been changed.  I am so sorry to hear the update on your mum Candy and my heart goes out to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.  Sometimes you wonder why but suppose we have to hold on to the power of prayer don't we.  I have asked myself that many times.

It is going to be a tough few weeks for you all.

I read you are worried about work.  Just explain to your employer what the consultant has told you and if he/she has any compassion they will understand fully how you feel.

Spend as much time as you can with your mum Candy because nobody knows the hold this cruel evil disease has on people.

Don't be worrying about having to reply Candy because I know you have enough to cope with at the moment.  I will be checking in to see how you are coping.

Constantly in my thoughts Candy

Take care and look after yourself (hugs)

Mickied

Hi Mickied thanks for getting back in touch!

I know I am in shock by the latest news, very hard to take in. I think I somehow always believed she would get better.. She bounced back last year in August when they originally told us about it spreading, they said a matter of weeks then but she was given steroids and that was her stronger until now! Thank you for keeping us in your prayers.. Although situations like this make me doubt there is anything good out there..

I have phoned my work today and told them she's now in the hospice and we've been told a few days.. Will see what happens! I said to Brian about how nice the staff are at the hospice it's amazing! Glad to know she's in such genuinely caring hands!

xxxx

Hi Candy

My husband always thought his father would beat cancer because they used to sit and joke and laugh where I would have been sitting heartbroken suppose they were all trying to remain positive.

To be honest with you Candy I think I took his passing worse than his own two daughters did.  I would have visited him at home several times a week and brought him fresh cream buns because he had a terrible sweet tooth like myself where they just contacted him over the phone a few times during the week.

You are right Candy about the power of prayer at times like this sometimes I question myself why do these cruel things happen to the good people in this world when you look round at the evil that is going on at present - it does make you wonder.

I have heard from others about the staff at various hospices and how they are completely different to the ones you come across at hospitals and their dedication towards cancer patients.

I will check in on Monday if I get a chance Candy to see how you are.  I will be thinking about you all weekend and stay strong wee friend.

Hugs Candy

Mickied

Hi Candy,

You haven't posted for a few days so I just wanted to see how you are doing and I hope everything is o.k.

Garf. x

Hi Garf, Brian & Mickied. My apologies I haven't replied to you In a while have been at the hospice most of the time. Glad to say mum is still with us despite being told she only had a few days left.. Although this doesn't mean I'm under any false pretences, I know it will happen sometime soon but nice to have extra time.. What can I say hmmm thinking of what happened over the weekend?... Thursday night she was a little out of it and sleeping most of the time we were there, this gave us a chance to chat to the nurses and introduce ourselves. Friday I stayed off work and spent the day and night there, she was a lot brighter chatting away to us, much the same on Saturday. Eating all her dinner which is good, as she didn't eat much at the hospital. Sunday she was a bit like Thursday, sleeping on and off. The nurses said she had a rough night, waking up not feeling well etc.. Back to work today so I will go to the hospice tonight and see how she is

Like I said before the nurses at the hospice are great, such a difference to the nurses at the hospital. You can just tell these nurses really care and want to help the patients out. Feel much better knowing she is in their hands. They are very friendly to us and other visitors too and feel you can ask them questions etc! So on the hole everything is much better. And of course I don't want to lose my mum but knowing she will be safe there when it does happen makes me feel reassured..

On the work front I just feel a bit better coming in and keeping some normality for now, yes I'd like to be there all the time for my mum but I don't want to be off when I don't 100% need to be. I have my phone with me and am only 10 mins from the hospice so should anything happen I can be there quickly. I will just try to keep a routine for now and go down the other route when needed!

How are you all keeping?

xxx

Hi Candy,

So glad your Mum is more comfortable now and that the hospice is taking such good care of her.  Also glad that as a result you are feeling a little better too.

Having a bit of a long day as it happens.  As a manager at work I and other managers had to serve food and drink at the Christmas staff party last night.  Not sure giving them a free bar was such a good idea and so there was much drunkeness and potential embarrassment for people to think about today.  The party finished at midnight but with stragglers hanging on I didn't get to bed until 2.30am.  Starting to feel that lack of sleep now but it's home time for me in just a couple of hours where I will try not to fall asleep in front of the t.v.

Have you been able to find out what you are entitled to at work regarding time off?

Garf. x

Hey Garf!

Yeah I'm glad too, makes such a difference when they get good care, can see even she appreciates it! Ha your reply about the office party made me giggle! I bet there is a few sore heads around the office today! Awk go on allow yourself to fall asleep in front of the tv! Nothing better than doing that on a Monday night lol! I will be doing the same when I get back from the hospice!

No I haven't discussed it with my boss yet. I'm thinking I will just deal with it when it comes to that time.. No point stressing over it just now!

Did you have a nice weekend?

xxx

Hi Candy,

Just caught up with your thread and see your Mum is now in a hospice.
I am glad you have come to know the level of care they can give in a hospice.

It's always a worry when one gives an opinion that it might not be right for someone else.

It sounds like your Mum is having some classic ups and downs.

I am glad you got some good moments with her over the weekend, good times to remember later.

Sending supportive hugs to you and thinking of you and your Mum

Annabel. xx

Hi Candy,

Thanks for the latest update and so pleased to hear you spent a weekend with your mother. You must feel so mush easier knowing she is getting great care at the hospice. Candy you have no need to apologize for not replying before as you mother has to be your main priority.

Take care of yourself, Brian

Not a bad weekend thanks Candy although Sunday was spent simply watching the clock waiting for tea time when I had to go back to work for the party.  I actualy have to go to another party in Birmingham on Friday which fortunately I don't have to work at but it's a posh do that won't finish until at least 2.00am and then a four hour mini bus ride home after breakfast.  I'm afraid I'm not really looking forward to it but it will be something to talk about at work for a day or two afterward.

By the time you read this you will have been to visit your Mum again and I just hope she is still comfortable.  I don't blame you for not worrying about speaking to your boss just yet.  As you say there is no point in possibly giving yourself more stress than you already have.

Take care and speak soon.

Garf. xx

Hi Candy

Just popped in to see if there was any more news about your mum.   As Brian has said Candy you don't need to apologise for not replying as your mum is your no. 1 priority at the moment.

I am so glad she is receiving the care and attention she deserves at the hospice and you also feel the ease of being able to ask all the questions you need answered.

I will check in again later in the week to see how you are.

Take care and thinking of you

Mickied

Hi Candy

Just popped in to see if there was any more news about your mum.   As Brian has said Candy you don't need to apologise for not replying as your mum is your no. 1 priority at the moment.

I am so glad she is receiving the care and attention she deserves at the hospice and you also feel the ease of being able to ask all the questions you need answered.

I will check in again later in the week to see how you are.

Take care and thinking of you

Mickied

Hey Mickied

Not too much else to tell really! She is still much the same.. Very tired a lot of the time! Will be going to see her after my work tonight

Yeah the care at the hospice is amazing, very reassuring!

How are you, did you have a nice weekend

xxx

Hi Candy

Hope you are are coping OK.  As you say Candy the bills still keep arriving and continuiing on at work tries to keep some normality in your life for the time being.  It helps if there is someone with your mum both during the day and at night.  You were saying your sister stays with her during the day and you call in after work - you must be exhausted Candy.  I hope you are getting some sleep at night but more than likely you're not.  I have been thinking about you all week and only got to check in today to see if there has been any further news.

Look after yourself Candy and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  Don't be worrying about an individual reply you have enough to deal with and your mum is your no. 1 priority.

Mickied

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't had the time to reply to you all! Will just write a quick reply to you all

My mum is still with us and seems to be making such a big improvement. Of course I know she isn't going to be cured but nice to see her eating a lot and being bright and happy. Still been going to work and going to the hospice after work. Yes Mickied you are right I am pretty exhausted from it all finding myself so tired all the time but I'm not complaining. Had to take a night off recently as I was very sick and didn't want to pass it on.

Sorry for such a short reply I am just about to go to bed for an early night

Take care everyone xxx

Hi Candy,

Don't worry about apologising for a short reply; you and your mother has to be the main priority. So pleased to hear she is improving and hope this continues. Make the most of these times Candy for the memories will help in the future. Our mother are made of stern stuff and at times it make you wonder where they get their reserves of energy from. They can be right down one day and next day they bounce right back. You do however have to take care of yourself though Candy, for the strain that this evil disease puts on all of us takes it's toll both emotionally and physically. You need to stay strong for what is to come.

Wishing you and your mother all the best, Brian

Hi there Candy,

I am so pleased that yourt Mum seems to be doing so well since she went into the hospice although I am sorry you have been ill yourself recently.

I hope you slept well after your early night and that your Mum is still feeling good when you see her later.  As brian has said you must take care of yourself and keep your strength up and whenever you feel a slight lack of it we will see if we can pick you back up again.

Wishing you the best Candy,

Garf. x

Hi Brian! How have you been?

Yeah its amazing to see her transformation from what she was like in hospital to how she is now.. Just shows you what good care can do for people! And she seems to have more of an appetite at the hospice.. But i guess this is down to them actually making sure patients actually eat, whereas at the hospital they were just bringing her the food and leaving her to it. Most of the time she was in too much pain to eat! The more i think about it the more i get annoyed at the care she received at the hospital.. Thinking of making a complaint against them!

Your right it is draining dealing with all of it, but whenever i feel like its getting to me i just tell myself i can get through it and that how i feel is nothing compared to how my mum must feel. So i am plodding along for now and trying to  stay positive and make the most of the time i have left with her

xxxx

Hi Garf, how are you?

Yeah its great to see her now, looking so much better! Like i said to Brian it is mostly down to the care she is receiving! They have eased up on the pain medication and stopped giving it to her by a pump in her arm and she is now being given them in tablet form. And she is eating a lot more which is good! Seems to be hungry a lot more often now.. Guess cause she isnt in as much pain!

Yeah unfortunately i hadnt been feeling well recently. But got a good night sleep last night and am feeling much better today! Hopefully a quick day in work then off to visit!

How did you work night go?

xxx

Hi Candy,

Apart from some of us being left on the street in the freezing cold waiting for a coach that never turned up the evening went pretty well.  The hotel I work at won one award and we were nominated for three others which out of a group of over sixty hotels is not bad going.  We were pleased anyway and so are the others at work now that we have had a chance to tell them.

How was your Mum last night?  Does she have anymore hair do's or pampering to look forward to?

Garf. xx

Hi Candy,

I am very well, thank you for asking. Hospice's are very good at controlling pain and this must have made such a difference to your mother. The fact she that she is eating better now also has a bearing on how she is feeling. I hope this continues. With regard to you continuing working, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. I too had to work when my mother was in hospital/ hospice and like you helped to take my mine off her suffering if only for a short while.

Sending best wishes to you both, Brian.

Hi Garf! Oh dear that isn't very good! How did you all get home!! Oh congratulations that's amazing :)!

She was good, a little tired but we caught up on some soaps and had a look through some of my childhood photos and had a laugh at them! The hairdresser was due round either today or tomorrow my mum couldn't remember for sure which day, so hopefully she will have had a nice wash and blowdry! I painted her nails the other week so they are still ok not needing re done just yet!

I am feeling a little sad today not sure why! Maybe cause I am tired and having a rubbish day at work !

Are you upto much over the weekend?

xx