Just to let you all know been told she has only a matter of weeks left

Hi Candy

Sorry I am only getting back to you now.  My hours at work have all been changed.  I am so sorry to hear the update on your mum Candy and my heart goes out to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.  Sometimes you wonder why but suppose we have to hold on to the power of prayer don't we.  I have asked myself that many times.

It is going to be a tough few weeks for you all.

I read you are worried about work.  Just explain to your employer what the consultant has told you and if he/she has any compassion they will understand fully how you feel.

Spend as much time as you can with your mum Candy because nobody knows the hold this cruel evil disease has on people.

Don't be worrying about having to reply Candy because I know you have enough to cope with at the moment.  I will be checking in to see how you are coping.

Constantly in my thoughts Candy

Take care and look after yourself (hugs)

Mickied

Hi Mickied thanks for getting back in touch!

I know I am in shock by the latest news, very hard to take in. I think I somehow always believed she would get better.. She bounced back last year in August when they originally told us about it spreading, they said a matter of weeks then but she was given steroids and that was her stronger until now! Thank you for keeping us in your prayers.. Although situations like this make me doubt there is anything good out there..

I have phoned my work today and told them she's now in the hospice and we've been told a few days.. Will see what happens! I said to Brian about how nice the staff are at the hospice it's amazing! Glad to know she's in such genuinely caring hands!

xxxx

Hi Candy

My husband always thought his father would beat cancer because they used to sit and joke and laugh where I would have been sitting heartbroken suppose they were all trying to remain positive.

To be honest with you Candy I think I took his passing worse than his own two daughters did.  I would have visited him at home several times a week and brought him fresh cream buns because he had a terrible sweet tooth like myself where they just contacted him over the phone a few times during the week.

You are right Candy about the power of prayer at times like this sometimes I question myself why do these cruel things happen to the good people in this world when you look round at the evil that is going on at present - it does make you wonder.

I have heard from others about the staff at various hospices and how they are completely different to the ones you come across at hospitals and their dedication towards cancer patients.

I will check in on Monday if I get a chance Candy to see how you are.  I will be thinking about you all weekend and stay strong wee friend.

Hugs Candy

Mickied

Hi Candy,

You haven't posted for a few days so I just wanted to see how you are doing and I hope everything is o.k.

Garf. x

Hi Garf, Brian & Mickied. My apologies I haven't replied to you In a while have been at the hospice most of the time. Glad to say mum is still with us despite being told she only had a few days left.. Although this doesn't mean I'm under any false pretences, I know it will happen sometime soon but nice to have extra time.. What can I say hmmm thinking of what happened over the weekend?... Thursday night she was a little out of it and sleeping most of the time we were there, this gave us a chance to chat to the nurses and introduce ourselves. Friday I stayed off work and spent the day and night there, she was a lot brighter chatting away to us, much the same on Saturday. Eating all her dinner which is good, as she didn't eat much at the hospital. Sunday she was a bit like Thursday, sleeping on and off. The nurses said she had a rough night, waking up not feeling well etc.. Back to work today so I will go to the hospice tonight and see how she is

Like I said before the nurses at the hospice are great, such a difference to the nurses at the hospital. You can just tell these nurses really care and want to help the patients out. Feel much better knowing she is in their hands. They are very friendly to us and other visitors too and feel you can ask them questions etc! So on the hole everything is much better. And of course I don't want to lose my mum but knowing she will be safe there when it does happen makes me feel reassured..

On the work front I just feel a bit better coming in and keeping some normality for now, yes I'd like to be there all the time for my mum but I don't want to be off when I don't 100% need to be. I have my phone with me and am only 10 mins from the hospice so should anything happen I can be there quickly. I will just try to keep a routine for now and go down the other route when needed!

How are you all keeping?

xxx

Hi Garf, Brian & Mickied. My apologies I haven't replied to you In a while have been at the hospice most of the time. Glad to say mum is still with us despite being told she only had a few days left.. Although this doesn't mean I'm under any false pretences, I know it will happen sometime soon but nice to have extra time.. What can I say hmmm thinking of what happened over the weekend?... Thursday night she was a little out of it and sleeping most of the time we were there, this gave us a chance to chat to the nurses and introduce ourselves. Friday I stayed off work and spent the day and night there, she was a lot brighter chatting away to us, much the same on Saturday. Eating all her dinner which is good, as she didn't eat much at the hospital. Sunday she was a bit like Thursday, sleeping on and off. The nurses said she had a rough night, waking up not feeling well etc.. Back to work today so I will go to the hospice tonight and see how she is

Like I said before the nurses at the hospice are great, such a difference to the nurses at the hospital. You can just tell these nurses really care and want to help the patients out. Feel much better knowing she is in their hands. They are very friendly to us and other visitors too and feel you can ask them questions etc! So on the hole everything is much better. And of course I don't want to lose my mum but knowing she will be safe there when it does happen makes me feel reassured..

On the work front I just feel a bit better coming in and keeping some normality for now, yes I'd like to be there all the time for my mum but I don't want to be off when I don't 100% need to be. I have my phone with me and am only 10 mins from the hospice so should anything happen I can be there quickly. I will just try to keep a routine for now and go down the other route when needed!

How are you all keeping?

xxx

Hi Candy,

So glad your Mum is more comfortable now and that the hospice is taking such good care of her.  Also glad that as a result you are feeling a little better too.

Having a bit of a long day as it happens.  As a manager at work I and other managers had to serve food and drink at the Christmas staff party last night.  Not sure giving them a free bar was such a good idea and so there was much drunkeness and potential embarrassment for people to think about today.  The party finished at midnight but with stragglers hanging on I didn't get to bed until 2.30am.  Starting to feel that lack of sleep now but it's home time for me in just a couple of hours where I will try not to fall asleep in front of the t.v.

Have you been able to find out what you are entitled to at work regarding time off?

Garf. x

Hey Garf!

Yeah I'm glad too, makes such a difference when they get good care, can see even she appreciates it! Ha your reply about the office party made me giggle! I bet there is a few sore heads around the office today! Awk go on allow yourself to fall asleep in front of the tv! Nothing better than doing that on a Monday night lol! I will be doing the same when I get back from the hospice!

No I haven't discussed it with my boss yet. I'm thinking I will just deal with it when it comes to that time.. No point stressing over it just now!

Did you have a nice weekend?

xxx

Hi Candy,

Just caught up with your thread and see your Mum is now in a hospice.
I am glad you have come to know the level of care they can give in a hospice.

It's always a worry when one gives an opinion that it might not be right for someone else.

It sounds like your Mum is having some classic ups and downs.

I am glad you got some good moments with her over the weekend, good times to remember later.

Sending supportive hugs to you and thinking of you and your Mum

Annabel. xx

Hi Candy,

Thanks for the latest update and so pleased to hear you spent a weekend with your mother. You must feel so mush easier knowing she is getting great care at the hospice. Candy you have no need to apologize for not replying before as you mother has to be your main priority.

Take care of yourself, Brian

Not a bad weekend thanks Candy although Sunday was spent simply watching the clock waiting for tea time when I had to go back to work for the party.  I actualy have to go to another party in Birmingham on Friday which fortunately I don't have to work at but it's a posh do that won't finish until at least 2.00am and then a four hour mini bus ride home after breakfast.  I'm afraid I'm not really looking forward to it but it will be something to talk about at work for a day or two afterward.

By the time you read this you will have been to visit your Mum again and I just hope she is still comfortable.  I don't blame you for not worrying about speaking to your boss just yet.  As you say there is no point in possibly giving yourself more stress than you already have.

Take care and speak soon.

Garf. xx

Hi Candy

Just popped in to see if there was any more news about your mum.   As Brian has said Candy you don't need to apologise for not replying as your mum is your no. 1 priority at the moment.

I am so glad she is receiving the care and attention she deserves at the hospice and you also feel the ease of being able to ask all the questions you need answered.

I will check in again later in the week to see how you are.

Take care and thinking of you

Mickied

Hi Annabel :)!

Yep your right she is in a hospice now. And yeah exactly it's amazing how much better the nurses are there, we didn't have much of luck with the nurses in he hospital.. Now I'm not saying that all nurses in hospitals are the same but the ones we encountered just had to bedside manner and didn't seem to care much for the patients. Totally different at the hospice, you can tell these people actually want to be there and give care to the people that need it & they are very friendly to all of the families as well it's great, I just wish she could've been moved there sooner so se didn't need to go through the pain in the hospital!

Thank you for replying to me , talk soon take care!

xx

Hi Brain!

Yeah we had a nice time over the weekend, was good to spend some time with her. She's starting to get very tired now and everyone visiting all the time is too much for her I think. She's not really getting to rest in between as people are going down all day then away while she gets dinner and back again, so she's having to stay away all day and a lot of the night which is tiring her out I think..

xxx

Oh I'm sure you'll find yourself enjoying the party when you are there! Although the bus journey might not be so fun after a night of drinking lol!! Yes I'm sure there will be many stories to be told in work the days after it!

Mum seems ok in the hospice, doesn't seem to be in any pain. Although she does talk a lot of nonsense most of the time them laughs at herself which is funny lol! Think the hairdresser is coming to do her hair for her sometime this week which will be nice!

Talking about work.. I have made the decision to come in and work as normal for now and go to the hospice afterwards, my sister however has been off so far this week and planning to take the rest off.. My work aren't as lenient as here and I can't help but think she's making little digs at me about working as normal..

Do you think it's wrong of me to be in work??

xxx

Hey Mickied

Not too much else to tell really! She is still much the same.. Very tired a lot of the time! Will be going to see her after my work tonight

Yeah the care at the hospice is amazing, very reassuring!

How are you, did you have a nice weekend

xxx