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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hello George I havnt spoken to you before but wondered is the hat you are wearing a West Ham one I notice the hammers on it I lost my darling husband Tony last Feb 2013 to terminal cancer [ mesethelioma]and he was a big West Ham fan as is my youngest son I think Tony had the same hat ,I hope all is well with you .....Susananne...

  • [[ ]]Hi Flower no my team is liverpool and the hat is military crossed swords I was a regular squaddy in the Gunners this place is great I have had three ops for cancer now no bladder or prostate but still here .81 years old in

    july good family behind me .AND a fantastic WIFE we wed in 56 known each other for 70 years her Mum and Dad were my Mates  I fancied her Mum when I was about 16 .regards george

  • Morning Everyone

    Hope you wont mind a joint response but 'I will say this only once'.  Have returned from appointment with hubby's consultant and the upshott of it was - hubby feels much the same as two months ago and the pain is still 'more or less' being controlled.  Anyway consultant says, oxygen levels were ok, weight stable (big surprise as I had expected a big drop!!) and overall his condition is stable.  They were not particularly overjoyed at hearing he had been driving long distance to visit work (made him feel like a naughty boy) and gave us info for subsidised taxi services, recommending he use them where possible (subtle way of letting him know it could be a safer option!!) though pretty sure he would not undertake a journey if he felt tired.  He actually only takes the morphine now and again and so far always in the evening so they were okay with this.  They have advised he try six small meals rather than three to keep his energy levels up but it appears he/I are doing 'nothing wrong' - always good to know.  Medication can stay at current levels though he can take extra morphine during the day if needed (but should not undertake long car drives).  All in all pretty relieved at present(and a bit more informed again)  Goes back to consultant  in 2 months unless changes occur in which case we can inform his community team and take it from there.

    Once again thanks to all my virtual family/followers for you support - its means so much to have you on  board.

  • Hi Jules,

    You need never worry about writing a joint response. Glad to hear things have not changed and no need to change meds and hubby is still coping. This must be a relief for both of you, especially you as are you spend a lot of time trying to second guess what's going on. I just have to say that since I gave up work five years ago, I cant eat the size meals I used to do so Mrs B now give me much less but still cant seem to lose any weight. Blame it on Brianitus and the nuts!!!!!!!!!!!

    Have finnished the book and only have to print it out now and the do my book binding. I am now re-starting one one of the others I have started, one of which is a crime thriller ( well I hope it will thrill anyway )

    Take care Jules and thanks for updating us, best wishes, hugs, Brian

  • Hello Jules ,I woke up thinking of you this morning memories came flooding back,I am so glad things went well ,and that the consultant said things are stable ,I bet you had a sigh of relief.Its sunny at the moment and 16.1 degs but we have had some heavy showers .Rusty and I had a lovely walk and we came home dry .I also went to garden center ,its my daughter Nina and son Justins birthday tomorrow I bought a plant each and some garden solar lights each ,they both mentioned a while back that they were going to get them so hope they will be happy ..Jules I hope you enjoy the rest of your day hugs as usual ...Susananne

  • Hi Jules

    So pleased you had some reassuring news today from all sides. Was thinking about you lots last night. Am feeling pretty shattered here so will (amazing) keep this short, but had to let you know am with you in thought

    Lots of love

    Lisa xX

  • Hi Jules,

    What great news about your Hubby. Like Lisa, I'll keep my reply brief (finding it hard to string sentences together after being with 30, 6 year olds!)

    Love and hugs to you both xx

  • Well they say great minds think alike - I had just written on the Brancial Cyst thread when noticed you had responded on mine - ESP at work!!  Have a good evening. 'Butterfly tummy' much calmer now. Sending hugs. Jules xx

  • Thanks Jo

    Imagine you are feeling a little weary (just one 5 year old (grandson!!)  can wear me out after an hour).  Take care and sleep well. Jules xx

  • Hi Jules and Jo,

    Sorry I haven't posted much since I have been away and then the 80th party. With all the family having been here I am absolutely K*** tired*** d.

    My Aunts, uncles and parents leave in the next two days , and after cleaning that cottage it will be back to normal business.

    Will catch up with you all properly then. Hope you are coping well and look forward to chatting.

    Love and hugs

    Annabel. xx